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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Hi,I met this guy online about 2 years ago.It was a dating

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Hi,I met this guy online about 2 years ago.It was a dating site.I visited him,as he said he was too busy working.Well,it could have gone better,as he was kind of rough at the edges and sometimes put me down for stupid things.He also could not keep his hands off me.No one can believe that we are still talking on the phone after all this time.He is fine sometimes,but his temper can just turn quickly.He has been divorced 3 times and numerous relationships.He asked for me to send photos and I did and all he said was that he liked my hair the other way and he did not like my outfits.I know that I loook good for my age and I am in shape.I am 48 and he is 61.He also lied about his age on the site.He wants me to come visit him again.He is now retired and has some health issues and now that is why he cant come to me.I am so lonely and I am tired of it,but people warn me this is wrong.I am not the type to online date,as the experiences have been bad.I am just so afraid of ending up all alone.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

 

Customer

 

Wouldn't you rather be alone than to be with someone that doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated? You should never settle for second best just so you won't be alone, being with someone that treats you bad can feel lonelier than actually being alone. With his health problem and age you will probably end up taking care of him if you continue to date him and things got serious. If he is already hot tempered and your not really dating could you imagine how bad it could be if you started dating on a regular basis, it just feels like he isn't appreciating you the way you deserve, it seems like he is already trying to control you and the way you look telling you to change your hair and the way you dress, these are all warning signs not to mention the fact that he has been divorced so many times.

 

Wouldn't being alone for a little while longer and finding someone that is right for you and have things in common with be better than settling for someone that is really making you feel bad about yourself? Life is too short to settle and then end up with regrets and wasted time. If he doesn't make you happy and you don't see yourself with him then tell him now before things get out of hand like you said you look good and are in shape it won't be that long before you meet someone else and you have to be careful when you meet someone online because you never know who you are talking to on the other end and if they show you their dark side now then that is a warning sign not to go any further with the relationship and that is what he is doing just be glad he is showing you his true colors now instead of when you made a commitment with him.

 

You deserve better than what he is giving you and you should give yourself more credit than to settle for someone that doesn't appreciate you or the things you do to see them. He doesn't even seem to appreciate that you travel to see him because he can't travel. There are other men out there that would treat you alot better and show you respect wait until you find that person.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
<p>Hi,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for the great help and it all makes sense.I am the kind that always blame myself for the relationship not working.I think that I try too hard to please.I have been told that the online dating sites work for some people.All that I have found are guys looking for just a good time.I see the same pictures all the time.At my age it is hard to meet guys and that is why I tried it.I just wondered if you have heard alot of horror stories from other women on these dating sites.I really think that I am not the type of woman that should be online dating.Thanks again and if you have any knowledge of this let me know.</p>
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

 

Customer

 

There are good and bad stories about online dating some people say they found their soul mate and others say they found nothing but heart ache it depends on how careful you are before you decide to meet them. You said when you are around him he can not keep his hands off of you but yet is rather mean to you I think he might have wanted a sexual relationship with you but if that isn't what you want then don't settle for that. I think if you re going to try dating site I think you should try a site like EHarmony.com they ask you a series of questions personal and professional and then match you with the hobbies and type of man you said you wanted and the person that seems to have the same things in common as you do.

 

Even when you use a reputable dating site you still have to be careful because some men only put what they think you want them to be and then when you meet they don't act or look like they described so what I suggest for you is, when you meet someone on the site and decide to meet in person plan to meet them at a public place like a luncheon place or a restaurant so that they won't want anything from you right away and this way you can really learn them their mannerisms how they treat you if they look into your eyes when they talk. It's not the dating sites it's the people on the dating sites. I don't see anything wrong with using a dating site as long as you are cautious when you do meet someone. Ask them about their family if they are close with them and if they have children and if he has been married this way you know a little about his track record, and if he is truly and honorable person he won't mind answering your questions this way you know who is trying to hide something and who isn't.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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