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Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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To whom it may concern, Ive been interested in a guy since

Customer Question

To whom it may concern, I've been interested in a guy since 6 months now. We met one year ago and we we're totally actracted from the start. He had a girlfriend but she left him a year ago. Since two monts we've been talking on the phone and we had Sex twice. After thinking about this whole situation I'm stucked in I talked him 3 days ago about us and he said that he wants to stay single and he wants to focus on his career. He said that we should stay best friends and he wants to have fun but he always calls me if he has problems with his work or other thing. Now I said I would just stay co workers and not more. He bagged me to stay friends with him. I told him about my feeling for him but he never told me his. But he always keep looking and watching me and he says that I could be his future wife and it could grow and he is just not letting me go. if get sexual he only wants a blow job and he is not sleeping with me anymore. I never got an orgasm with him. I don't understand this?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

 

Relationships are hard to begin with, but when one party is only interested in the sexual side of it then it will never work. He says he wants to be single, but still have the rights of a guy in a relationship (Sexual) how is that fair to you?

 

He only wants to talk on the phone, and come over for sex? That is not a relationship, it is friends with benefits. What he is doing to you is not fair to you, you have a right to expect him to be with you in more then a sexual nature. Based on what you have said he is using you and you know it already, I do not have to tell you. When you said you wanted to put a end to it.......what did he do? He lured the "You could be a future wife" to keep stringing you along. If he really thought that........then why not start dating and take it slow?

 

With men oral sex is more distant sometimes......in his way of thinking oral sex is a non bonding experience and thus he is doing nothing wrong. In his way of thinking, why would you give him oral sex with nothing in return?

 

I know this is hard, but I can tell you with 100% confidence that he is using you right now until he decides what he wants. The bad news is if you were a real option.......someone he would consider for a wife he would not be treating you like this. He is simply telling you what ever it takes to keep the sexual side of you agreeable. Some men are cads....you know this as well as I. Though men do not treat a women like this unless they really have no feelings for them. Even a friend would treat you with more respect. He has no respect for you and never will as long as you allow him to have his cake and eat it to.

 

I can not tell you what to do, only you can make up your mind. Though I think you already know what needs to be done.......its just hard to take that leap. There are plenty of guys out there that would love the chance to have a trusting loving relationship with a good women. Hanging around waiting on someone who has no respect for you is only delaying your chance on meeting Mr. Right.......and trust me this guy is no Mr. Right! While all guys can be jerks at times, the fact is if we care about someone we do not treat them like this.

 

If you have any questions or just want to talk some let me know.

 

Walter

Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
Walter and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you Walter!! I knew it.. It just hurt so much!! As I wanted to end it, he sad he knows he is difficult and it's hard to find somebody new.
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hi,

 

I know how painful this is..........as for his comment he knows he is difficult, then why does he not change it? The reality is he has no desire to change before he likes what he is getting.

 

If you need anything please do not hesitate to let me know.

 

Walter

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