Relationships are hard to begin with, but when one party is only interested in the sexual side of it then it will never work. He says he wants to be single, but still have the rights of a guy in a relationship (Sexual) how is that fair to you?
He only wants to talk on the phone, and come over for sex? That is not a relationship, it is friends with benefits. What he is doing to you is not fair to you, you have a right to expect him to be with you in more then a sexual nature. Based on what you have said he is using you and you know it already, I do not have to tell you. When you said you wanted to put a end to it.......what did he do? He lured the "You could be a future wife" to keep stringing you along. If he really thought that........then why not start dating and take it slow?
With men oral sex is more distant sometimes......in his way of thinking oral sex is a non bonding experience and thus he is doing nothing wrong. In his way of thinking, why would you give him oral sex with nothing in return?
I know this is hard, but I can tell you with 100% confidence that he is using you right now until he decides what he wants. The bad news is if you were a real option.......someone he would consider for a wife he would not be treating you like this. He is simply telling you what ever it takes to keep the sexual side of you agreeable. Some men are cads....you know this as well as I. Though men do not treat a women like this unless they really have no feelings for them. Even a friend would treat you with more respect. He has no respect for you and never will as long as you allow him to have his cake and eat it to.
I can not tell you what to do, only you can make up your mind. Though I think you already know what needs to be done.......its just hard to take that leap. There are plenty of guys out there that would love the chance to have a trusting loving relationship with a good women. Hanging around waiting on someone who has no respect for you is only delaying your chance on meeting Mr. Right.......and trust me this guy is no Mr. Right! While all guys can be jerks at times, the fact is if we care about someone we do not treat them like this.
If you have any questions or just want to talk some let me know.
I know how painful this is..........as for his comment he knows he is difficult, then why does he not change it? The reality is he has no desire to change before he likes what he is getting.
If you need anything please do not hesitate to let me know.