I would be happy to help you with your question. Would you please answer these questions first so that I may better assist you.
What are your ages?
Has he always had trouble admitting fault?
Do you think of him as a prideful person?
Do you have any other issues in your marriage?
It sounds like you have a very difficult situation on your hands. People like your husband tend to develop a long-standing problem with intimacy and communication. He has demonstrated a pattern of this type of behavior in the past, even before you married him. I would want to know what it is about him that you find attractive? If his lack of communication upsets you so much, why did you marry him? I do not mean to blame you...I just want you to think about the qualities he has that made you desire to spend the rest of your life with him. What does he do well? It is all too easy to get focused on the negative things, without even acknowledging what you husband does well. If you cannot think of a single thing he does well, I would have to say that there is little hope of restoring your relationship. However, if you are able to identify even a few things he does well, then there is definite hope. Try to focus in on his positive qualities and compliment him for what he does well. Tell him that you respect how hard he works for your family. He may not share his feelings with you because he may not believe that you have any respect for him. I am suggesting that you put on respect towards your husband. Make him feel like a man. Have a great tumble in the sack with him. Don't explain yourself, just treat him differently. The problem with relationship conflict is that both partners are always waiting for the other person to change first. This is your opportunity to be the mature one in the relationship. I'm sure you do not treat your husband the same way you did before you got married. I know things are different now and you have a child, but your man desperately needs you to respect and support him. I suggest that you sit down and write him a letter that explains everything you find respectful and attractive about him as your man. Give this letter to him and just tell him that you thought he should know how you really feel. I guarantee you that he will greatly appreciate this, even if he does not show it at first. In order to get him to open up, you are going to have to make him want to be close to you. Unfortunately, nagging him to open up and talk will never work with a man like him. Start treating him like your king and if he is a good man, he will eventually start treating you like his queen. I know it seems scary to open yourself up by trying this, but it can make all the difference in your marriage. I challenge you to do this for 1 whole month. Treat him well...sleep with him every day....tell him how much you respect him. He will begin to fall in love with you again. As this happens, he may be more willing to open up to you and will likely become less defensive. Honestly, in all of my years of clinical practice...I can find no better way to change this situation. Give it your best shot. Do it for your marriage and for your sweet little child. Give your child a happy home to grow up in. You can start the change all by yourself! I want to suggest a book that I find to be extremely useful for women in a situation similar to yours. Go and buy "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" or "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." These books were written by a woman who has a lot of experience with marriage and family therapy. They may challenge your thinking a bit but they might help you to understand your husband better.
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