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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Ive been dating this guy for 5 months. We come from very

Resolved Question:

I've been dating this guy for 5 months. We come from very different backgrounds and are not used to the same things. We don't have a lot of things in common either. Although we want to make this work, can it really work? I'm from a more luxurious background than he is, and although he realizes it, he is not comfortable with this.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Hello Catou,

What are your ages?

Can you explain what you mean by luxurious?

What's his background?

What do you have in common, if anything?

What attracts you to each other?

Chase
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I'm 30 years old and he's 27. My parents are kind of fortunate, and I've been raised in a big house, going out to fancy restaurants frequently, I've traveled to Europe and the Carribean with my parents more than once and am used and love that lifestyle.

 

He's from a small town, never did go to fancy restaurants, never traveled. That does not bother me, except that when I introduced him to a fancy restaurant with my parents, he was so umconfortable that it made everyone felt uneasy...

 

What we do have in common are movies, and our job, as we do the same thing. We also like going to the cottage, but besides that, I appreciate fancy restaurants while he doesn't, I'm a social person who likes to go out often to do all kinds of things while he's more of a homebody. He's into camping, which I'm not really into, just to name a few.

 

What attracted me to him, (besides his cute look!), is his differences...but now I'm starting to wonder if we're too different to continue.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Catou,

There are two ways of looking at it... Some people believe that opposites attract, while others think that being with someone who you have more in common with is better. I believe that opposites do attract, especially in the beginning because we see something in that person that we don't see in ourselves, and that attracts us, but by the same token, this may not last over a long period of time because those very same differences can be what starts to annoy us after a while.

In your situation, it's going to depend on the maturity and open mindedness of the two of you. Could you simply go to fancy restaurants with your friends, and he could go camping with his friends? Could he eventually get used to going to them, at least when it comes to family events? Could you at least go camping with him once or twice a year? Is he interested in traveling? Are there things that you can do together that you both enjoy that will build a history between the two of you? Is he willing to be more social? Are you willing at some point to concentrate on a family more than a social life?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions, then there's a possibility that things could work out between the two of you. Regardless, it won't be easy, even a relationship where two people have everything in common there will be problems, but it's how you deal with the problems that will make or break the relationship. Communication is the key, being able to discuss these things without getting surly or angry is important.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Ms Chase
Ms Chase
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Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues