How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Cher Your Own Question

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18589
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My Mother and I would like to introduce her recently ...

Customer Question

My Mother and I would like to introduce her recently widowed Brother to my deceased Fathers Sister. I am afraid it is too soon for my Uncle, but Mom said when you are in your 70s you dont have time to wait. Neither of them would ever agree to a ''set-up''. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hello,

I would like to help you with your question, but first, I would like to get a little more information from you:

How long ago did your Uncle lose his wife?

Is your aunt (father's sister) widowed also, or never married or divorced?

Have they ever met at any family functions?

How is your uncle's attitude? Does he still seem to be grieving, sad, not going out much, staying to himself, or is he willing to go out with his friends, out to eat, carrying on with normal, everyday activities?

Thanks,
Cher
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Reply to Cher's Post: It has only been 4 months since my Uncles wife passed.

My Aunt on Dads side has been divorced and widowed and recently broke off a 3 yr relationship.

They met many many years ago because of course my Parents were married once upon a time.

My Uncle, who has been the primary caretaker of his cancer ridden wife for 8 years, quit his job a while back so he could devote his full time to my Aunt. Now he has gone back to work and Mom thinks he is doing good.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply with additional information.

I'm glad to hear that your uncle has gone back to work and is doing well. I understand how difficult it was for him during the 8 years his wife was sick and he was taking care of her.

I feel, at this particular time, that your uncle is still in a vulnerable position and needs a little more time to get his life back on track, with work, and re-defining himself, now that he's no longer your late aunt's caretaker.

Your father's sister has been in quite a different 'space' over the years, being divorced, widowed, and now coming out of a longterm relationship.

For these reasons, I think, even though your mom's and your intentions are good, and these two now 'single' relatives might enjoy each other's company, eventually, more time needs to pass, before you get them together. Your aunt is definitely in a 'rebound' state of mind and your uncle is learning how to live life as a newly single man, still grieving the loss of his beloved spouse. I would advise waiting a few more months, before getting them together, so they can each 'settle' into their newly single lives.

You mentioned that neither would appreciate a 'set-up', so I'm assuming you're planning on inviting them both to some sort of family gathering, which would be a good idea. Continue to keep in touch with both of them, keep up with what's going on in their lives, be a good listener, and then, in a couple of months, try to accomplish the 'get-together'.

I hope things work out well, and please let me know if you would like to discuss this further.

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18589
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Cher,

Here is a copy of the email I sent Customer service.

 

 

 

 

I asked, and got an acceptable answer for $9. I thought I made a $10 deposit into my account to pay the expert, thinking she would receive the $11 which includes your $1 match. Our bank says it is two separate transactions. Her $9 and your $10. I am on a fixed income and am requesting $9 back. The extra dollar was intended for her. I would use this service again but will pay for it at that time.

Thank you for your help,

Nila Neblett

Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again, Nila, and thanks for letting me know about this.

If you don't receive a response from Customer Service in a timely manner, please let me know, and I'll try to help from my end. Thanks!

Cher (I'm sending this as a request for information, so you're not prompted to click 'accept' again)
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
again, thank you for your help. A refund has already been submitted.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again, Nila, and you're most welcome! I'm glad Customer Service took care of it.

Take care,
Cher

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency