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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Ive known my friend/boyfriend for 2 years and we

Customer Question

I've known my friend/boyfriend for 2 years and we dated off and on. He did ask me to be his roomate back in April and I told him yes, but I didn't move in because I was in school and I wasn't working. Then he contacts me 3 months later saying that he has a gf and I didn't move in fast enough. Now, he claims that he wants him and I to be closer and to have a one woman/one man relationship. He depends on me alot. I need to discuss some other issues with him. I want to return the key that he gave me. I did tell him that I'm going to give the key back to him, but he told me to keep it and not to throw it a way.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hello Msmely,

Thank you for using Just Answer again. Can you tell me,

How does he depend on you?

What are the other issues?

Do you want to be with him?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I kind of do want to be with him. When he got arrested he called his cousin, and his cousin called me and told me what happened. When he gets in a bind, and he has no one else to turn to he relies on me. When i try to reach him on the phone i feel like ignores me and he doesn't return my calls or text messages, but yet he gets a attitude when i don't return his messages.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
It's hard to tell from everything you've said whether or not you look on him as more of a friend or a boyfriend. If he says that he wants it to be you and him, whats holding you back?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
His current "girlfriend". I want to tell him that I have feelings for him.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Ah, ok, I thought since he said he wanted to be with you, and you had the key, that he was dropping her? That would be my first demand if you want to be with him. Seeing how fast he drops her will give you an indication whether or not he wants to be with you. The fact that he doesn't return your calls or messages is concerning too...I'm not sure I would open up about my feelings until he figures out what he wants to do. Obviously he knows you have some type of feeling for him, and he has some type of feeling for you, but somewhere in there you are not putting your foot down. He has to know that he can't treat you any way he wants and you'll just accept it. If he gets angry when you don't return his calls then he needs to know that is how you're feeling when he doesn't return yours. You have to get all of this straight before opening up too much. Keep in mind that even if the two of you get together, these things might not change unless you change them before you get together. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
okay. i do want to discuss the phone issue with him asap and let him know that he needs to decide who he wants to be with. Also, i've been trying to reach him because he said that he will help me move. I live a hour a way from job too and my other friends.Thank you very much your advice. Do you have a e-mail address I can contact you at if i have any other questions?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Unfortunatly we're not allowed to talk to customers offline....I wish I could. But anytime you need me, just ask for me. So he's helping you move in with him? or into your own place?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I'll be moving into my own place. He mentioned him and I working on having a one man/one woman relationship.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Well, if you like him and you think he likes you then its worth a try, but you have to be strict about what you want and make sure that you let him know exactly what you want and how you want it, he may not follow through all the time but at least he can't say he didn't know if you ever decide to walk away. Let him know that you want it to be one on one as well and see what his reaction is.

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
We have discussed having a one on one and so far, we are on the same page. Thank you for your advice Ms. Chase. Whenever I need more advice or have a issue I will get back to you. I will discuss with him and be strict about the phone and gf situations.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Ok, come back sometimes and let me know how it's going. Good luck with your move, and your man. :)

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
okay thank you Ms. Chase. I'll talk to you soon.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
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