How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ms Chase Your Own Question

Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
1042561
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Ms Chase is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have no clue what is going on with my husband and our 6

Customer Question

year marriage. He absolutely tunes me out at any chance he can get. There is only so much one can take before they truly understand "he is tolerating me and is in this only not to have to pay me 1/2 of his large $175,000 income, and then 1/2 of the property. This will be our 6th longest year of marriage. What is with this. He loves going to work and talks to me about all the girls but absolutely will have no conversation of any substance with me. What am I to do. Also, he has lost 20 pounds with about 50 more to go. I believe he is having an emotional affair. I have tremendous gut instincts and so far have been right on all of them. Please assist me.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Hello Princess,

He talks to you about what girls?

What are your ages?

Is he losing this weight on purpose?

Do you want to split with him?

Chase
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I would prefer not to leave him. I am a very dedicated loyal wife.

He decided to lose weight and go into the office one hour earlier starting about two month's ago.
48 My age
58 his age
Yes all the women, never any of the guys or the projects. (We met while working there in 2000. We did not marry until I was long gone (2002, from the Company)
He will not as me to go to any corporate events.
I believe he is keeping alot from me.
The silent abuse is what i call it.
or jekyl hyde.
I know I cannot change him but how does one stay marred to such insanity?

Thank you very much
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
did you further add some information for me?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
sorry I am a bit confused, did you send me some further information? Thank you, Deborah
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
It's not going to be easy. In this situation you can take the laid back approach, dealing with whatever he dishes out, or you can be more confrontational, and not deal with it. Either way, the ending might be the same, but in the latter instance you may feel a little better about yourself. Although you are a devoted wife, the question is, is he a devoted husband? What good is a one sided love? One person cannot hold up an entire relationship, it's like one person trying to carry a sofa, it' near impossible. You have to open up the lines of communication with him....ask him how he feels about your relationship, ask that you spend more time together, if he doesn't invite you to the corporate functions, why not put on a dress and go anyway. Imagine his face if you showed up? Ask yourself, would you stay with him if you knew for a fact he is cheating? Will you be happy if things are this way 5 years from now? If he's distancing himself from you now, and you see him pulling away, then it's possible he may do something to prevent you from getting any money or property. If you talk to him and he's simply unwilling to work things out with you, you may want to start putting something away for yourself to protect yourself financially. If you are determined to stay with him, then you still have to ask for the things you want and desire, he is after all your husband, and you are entitled to spend time with him. What about making a romantic dinner, or planning a trip, do you think he would agree or be involved in that? If it's not something you have tried, it might be something to consider. It at least might give you an idea of whether he's willing to still be involved with you. I would also ask him not to talk to me about women, OR you can tell him about all of the gorgeous men you saw today, and see how he reacts. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Warmly

Chase
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I appreciate you helping me with this, because we all know that certain people have relationships with insanity, and doing the same thing over and over again, will produce the same advice/response
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you for your wonderful advice. It is so hard for me as I have allowed him to ruin my family relationships also. My crazy making is that he states he cannot stand supporting a woman. Well the first 1 1/2 years I was tied up because he broke all three ankle bones. Leaving me exremely depressed and tired. His response (get over it). No he is not a person I can trust and say honey we need to talk. He says talking feelings and emotions to him is like having a root canal. So here I am a very nice person caught in what I think is a very abusive trap, and the only thing that is keeping me here is financial poverty, as I have no more friends or family and pretty much he has succeeded in making sure that he has control of everything. Before I met him, I had a very good paying job howeve tryin to raise two boys on it was a struggle. Believe me we have had our struggles, and he says things just to push my buttons. Am I fooling myself. Is he just too immature or want's to look good by me filing or what? He doesn't attend any of my family functions. I have yet to meet his family and they live 5 minutes away. His rsponse, they just grew apart. i don't believe that. I think there is more to the picture. My allowance is $60 a week. wow. I used to take home $40k a year. What is your true analysis given the facts i have told you? Is he nice, OH YES TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I just lost a bunch of information however communication to him is a waste of time. I am having a hard time letting go becuase of financial poverty. I do not let him get physically close to be because his moods turn so fast. I admited to myself that he is just tolerating me, I cannot live like this the rest of my life. Any suggestions to a woman where a man (will not let me out easy)?

True living heck!!
I wouldn't be treated like this by a stranger how come it becomes so much more clear when he states right from his mouth that this relationship is "hopeless" then the next day I am the only one inthe world for him.

Since I voluntarily quit work when my ankle was broken.

So the ultimate question is for Washington State Divorce's they can go through what is known as mediation to keep the costs down, and since I have had little to no income from lack of work outside of his cherished townhome (in his eyes).

Hopefully this will wake some peopleup just don't use my screenname (which I knw is private, but FYI, what internal doctors o speciliss are in your area.

Thank ou again or your loving yet said and done, you hav egiven me more tools to approach him.

Thanks again, Deborah Helm
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
did you answer the most recent one July 30 1:59?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you for your help. I will accept all of this but wish to expand posibly tomorrrow.

deborah
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Hi Deborah,

I know it's difficult, and not having money makes it look even more bleak.

Did you say that he broke your ankle?

You live 5 min from his family and never met them? Why didn't you ever just get up and go over there? You're his wife right?

Where are your boys?

Have you considered going back to work?

Chase





.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions