Thank you for the additional information. It sounds like you are really over thinking this situation. That is, you are attempting to analyze every interaction you have had with her and make the "right" choice. Sometimes when we over analyze a situation it can lead us to faulty conclusions. The first thing that I would suggest you do is to really ask yourself what you get out of your relationship with her. How does she make you feel when you are with her? What do you think that she is getting out of the relationship?
Given her situation with the divorce and her children, I think that she is probably very confused about what she wants in her life. You probably provide her with momentary escapes and help her to feel good about herself. You seem to be really into this woman, which probably makes her feel special. When she invites you to her work, she probably enjoys the fact that a man would come out of his way to see her, even when you don't have the opportunity to talk much. You are fulfilling some need of hers, which I cannot put my finger on exactly. However, when you attempt to move the relationship beyond this friendly/admiring interaction, she seems to pull away. Yes, some of her excuses may have been valid, but it seems likely that she is unsure about getting involved with you on a deeper level. At this point, you are providing her with attention and making her feel important....If that is fulfilling her need, why should she take steps to move your relationship forward? You need to not be so available to this woman. Moreover, you really need to consider whether it is a good idea to get involved with a woman with two kids, going through a divorce, and working at a gentleman's club. You may be selling yourself short here. She seems like she has a lot of her plate and you may be getting yourself in over your head. Nevertheless, if you really want to see if this woman is interested, you must talk with her about your feelings. You need to call her and set up a time to meet and tell her that you have some important things to talk to her about. This will give you an opportunity to share your feelings for her and let her know that you want something more out of this relationship. She will have to give you some kind of an answer if you do this. Don't allow her to drag you around and keep you hanging on the hope that she "might be interested." You deserve an honest answer from her. Your anxiety level about this will drop after you share your feelings.
If you found this answer helpful, please click accept so that I get credit for my time and work. Please feel free to ask follow-up questions. I will do my best to help you navigate this situation and find the best possible solution for you. Just take a deep breath and think about what I said above before you do anything.