I would be happy to help you with this question. Please answer these questions so that I am better able to assist you.
Could you please explain the situation in a little more detail?
How often are you around Sandra?
Who expects you to cook?
Why does it bother you that they ask you to cook?
Do the kids get angry with Sandra when she refuses to cook?
Who puts the pressure on you to cook?
You have every right to be angry about this situation. You should never be "expected" to do something, especially when the person expecting you to do it is not doing it themselves. You seem like a nice person and it may be that they are trying to take advantage of you because they think they can manipulate you into cooking. This is not the kind of issue that someone should get so upset about. It seems strange to me that they would remain angry at you about this issue. Your boyfriend should be supporting you in this situation. He needs to stand up for his woman and not allow them to treat you that way. You might want to talk with him about how this is making you feel. You should not be made to feel like an outcast. You are not technically part of this family and should not be expected to do anything for them. It seems like their reaction to you is unfair. The first thing you need to do is talk with your boyfriend about this issue. Don't allow him to make you feel wrong for this. Tell him that you need him to protect and fight for you. Men tend to respond better when you tell them that you are in need of protection and help. This may motivate him to defend you and make peace in the family. You should take rest though...this is not your problem....it is their problem.
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Maybe there are other issues between you and her that you are not aware of. It may be that she is angry with you about something else. Also, you are not "family" and are of a different nationality. She may be holding some things against you. You probably need to talk to your boyfriend about her attitude. Maybe he can help you to understand her attitude better. Perhaps she is nicer to Sandra because she is married to her son. If you married into the family, she might not react the same way to you. It is possible that she might have accepted Sandra because she already family. She may not want her son to stay with you because she would like him to find a more "traditional woman." I'm very sorry for your situation. It sounds like you are being singled out in an unfair way. You might want to ask her if she has a problem with you for any reason. That way, you can at least attempt to communicate with her. She may appreciate your effort to talk with her about the situation.
Please click accept if you found this answer helpful. Good luck to you! It sounds like a very tricky situation. I'm not sure there is any right answer or good reason for her behavior towards you. Mother's can be very protective of their sons. She may be uncertain about her feelings towards you. I think it would be best to calmly and respectfully XXXXX XXXXX with her when you can.
It sounds you like are dealing with some generational differences as well. She is much older and probably sees young women who do not cook as lazy. Nevertheless, you should not have to cook for anyone but yourself. If you do cook, it is a nice thing for you to do. However, you are not required to cook for others. There is no law stating that you must cook for men. This type of attitude is old fashioned and outdated. Given her age (79) I would just cut her some slack. Remember that she just does not understand you or your generation of women. Maybe after she gets to know you better as a person, she will be more kind.