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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Is she useing me

Resolved Question:

I met this girl from class let's say her name is "J" as talking to her i found out she just got a job at a strip club being a waittess. She has invited me out there many times, I'v been out there a few times with my friend and his g/f. Me and J spoke about it if I was to go I need to tip her (good I guess). So when the bill comes i give her 35 tip on a 95 bill, and i feel bad for giving so "little".    Main problem is i actually "like" this girl but i don't know if the way how she's acting towards me is for money or she is intersted.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-What are your ages?

-How long have you known her?

-Do the two of you talk alot to each other?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I'm 24, and she's 24, known her for about a month. When we're around eachother we talk almost every second, even in class we sit next to eachother and write on paper and talk that way. Other then that I go see her at work and we talk alot when we can if she has a chance to sit down. Never really a quite moment. I'm trying not to call her yet because I don't want to seem desperate, but she hasn't called me either. Well I just feel like she's expecting me to tip her ALOT more on the bill because we "spoke" about it. And i'm just wondering if she's just useing me to get that.
(and is 35 dollar tip on a 95 dollar bill alot or little or just right)(just wondering)
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

 

Customer

If she were using you I doubt she would talk to you as much as she does at school she would keep it business and not pleasure. She may be waiting for you to make the first move and since you've known her for a month it won't make you seem desperate to ask if you could have her number. You wont' really know if she is using you or not if you don't make that next step. If you like her show her that you like her ask to see her outside of work and school maybe ask her if she wants to get a bite to eat after school that way you will have more quiet time with her, maybe lunch or an early dinner.

She invited you to her job but really it's up to you how much you want to tip and since are usually 20% of the bill you are tipping her accordingly and even a little more generously than 20%, you are paying a little under 45% pf your bill. You should think about telling her how you feel about her and ask her out. You never know she could be waiting for you to make your move and doesn't want to seem too pushy and if you both keep going the way you are you will never get that chance if you both are afraid to make the first move.

You seem to get along very well and that how most good relationships are started as friends. I would ask for her phone number first and have some phone conversations and feel her out away from school and her job then make your decision as to when you should ask her for a date. What do you have to lose if she says no or she isn't interested you still have her as a friend? I think she may be interested not every woman asks a classmate to come to their job with them to keep them company.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: I went to her job last night and go into asking her what was she doing on (tired from working)Wed.(before class) and Thurday she said "Maybe" for grabing something to eat. It's almost mixed signals of what she is giving me. How should I takes these...
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.
Customer

It's hard for me to say because I can not see her body language but give her time think about the lunch date give her until Wednesday in class and ask her if she thought about what you had asked her about lunch. She may be just confused as to what she wants maybe try not going to her job and only talking to her in class and she how she reacts but this too may give her the wrong signal and make her think you are no longer interested in her but if she makes a big deal about you tipping her it may be to make money but you have a choice not to go there or maybe ask her in class if you could meet after work maybe take her home if she doesn't drive. If you feel uncomfortable tipping every night then try to curve how much you go this way you will know if she is using you for the money or just trying to spend more time with you.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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