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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
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My daughter is 22, has a 2 yo little girl whom she exposes ...

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My daughter is 22, has a 2 yo little girl whom she exposes to the various men that seem to trapse thought her house and bed. I need references to bolster my arguments that this is not good for the baby. the father and his family are NOT in the picture. Drugs are not overtly in the picture. NO evidence of meth or alcohol.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-Does your daughter fault these men in front of the daughter like kissing them, hugging them?

-Does the granddaughter exhibit signs of inappropiate things?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Not sure if she flaunts them, but, mostlikely yes, especially if they have been around for a few days. I am not sure what you mean about innapropriate behavior. She is initially reserved when she comes over to our house and then warms up to me as usual. I have most addimately demanded that the baby is in another room when her mother is sleeping with her "boyfriends". Most of the boyfriends last only a few days or weeks at the most. My daughter is extremely attractive and turns heads when she walks into a store. Yet she continues to choose "loosers" for her love interests. I should add the her father abandoned her mother 20 years ago and has had no contact since.
Overall the baby seems in good spirits, runs about, smiles and talks her gibberish as always. She has not become withdrawn or has any increased crying or difficult behavior Her mother however has left the house and the child alone with her boyfriends at various times. Both her mother and I told her that this behavior was not acceptable on any level, and it seems to have stopped. I am looking for outside support in the form of books, articles or other references to use when we are talking to her. I believe that she truly dosen't understand the potential for life long damage to her daughter.
thank you
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.
Customer

Since the granddaughter does not exhibit any problems with this then there really isn't anything you can do but continue to try to talk to the daughter and get her to realize what she does and how she carries herself is teaching her daughter how to carry herself also. Although the daughter is of age she is still young yet and is still learning, hopefully she is outgrowing this stage in her life. If the granddaughter seems happy and doesn't exhibit signs that the way the mother is acting affects her then I wouldn't worry about it too much but what I would worry about and keep an eye on are the men watching your granddaughter alone! Especially if they are strangers to her you don't really know if you can trust them not to harm her in anyway and nowadays you REALLY have to worry about that stuff with the growing number of pedophile out there preying on little children.

I just think that your granddaughter is too young to learn anything from what her mother does but you have to work on getting the mother to realize that the daughter will get older and start noticing things about the men coming in and out of her life. You mentioned that the daughter isn't biologically yours right, and that her real father left her mother when she was two? I really think your daughter is just afraid of being alone and always needs someone there to feel that void partly because of her father not being there and this too may be why she is drawn to losers because subconsciously she wants to change them like they are her father or she may not have much self worth even though she is gorgeous she wasn't accepted by the only man that matters her father so she may have some insecurities about that also. She really needs to work on herself before she can have a healthy relationship; she has to feel she is worth more than she has been choosing. Please let me know if I read your answer right about her biological father leaving her mother 20 years ago. Also I have included some self help books that maybe you could share with her to build her self confidence and help her to make better choices.

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1572240938/theguidetosel-20

http://e-library.net/Self-Help.htm

http://articlesunlimited.holisticnetworkexchange.com/loving_happiness.html

http://www.spaldingeducprod.com/pages/text/relation.html

http://www.coachingintogreatness.com/2008/05/the_aq_of_loving_yourself.html

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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