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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Hi my Name isXXXXX husband tells me that he would like ...

Customer Question

Hi my Name isXXXXX husband tells me that he would like to have a three some and that scares me he says it''s normal and he took me to swingerslifestyle.com and showed me all the peaple that is in that life stye ever since I don''t tust him and I feel so alone and afaid of his thouts please let me know what you think he works 16 hours and get home clean like if he had showered I don''t know what to think anymore please what should i do...
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would helpme to know:

-How long have you been married?

-Has he always been faithful as far as you know?

-How long has he been asking you for the threesome and going to that site?

-Is there possibly a shower at his job?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I know him since 2003 we got married in march 17 2008 and he say's he didn't showered at work theres no shower there and that he hats me not tusting him when I know in fact that he is to clean from working to many hours I don't know what to think any more i'm confused I need some one to talk to me I hate haveing sex and him telling me I would love to see you have some one f**king you that turns me on or I would love to see you eat a women up is nasty to me...
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

 

Wanda,

First can I call you Wanda? He seeming as though he showered does seem strange but what is even stranger is that he can not tell you why he comes home so clean after working 12 hours a day. Does he go places and takes too long getting back? Does he make or receive strange phone calls? You have only been married for 3 months he didn't telling you before this that he wanted a threesome? if you feel uncomfortable about him talking about that kind of stuff then you need to tell him flat out that isn't your cup of tea and that you are not interested in the least bit to fulfill that fantasy for him. Tell him that you take your marriage vows very serious and that you wish he did also. Until you can find proof of him cheating or doing anything shady you will have to trust that he is being faithful to him. Trust in a relationship is very important but if you feel that the urge to find out for sure is there then maybe you should do your own detective work and check to see if he is at work the whole 12 hours or if he leaves to go somewhere follow him but that is taking a chance of messing up your marriage for no reason at all.

It sounds like your husband is over sexed and may need some counseling for that it would be so bad but the fact that you didn't know he would go to swinging site and didn't know he wanted to badly to have extra marital sex with someone along with you is wrong especially when he knows you do not like that type of thing. You must stand your ground as far as that type of thing is concerned and not allow him to back you into a corner and you do it thinking you can save your marriage that will only make you feel like you have lost yourself for the sexual gratification of your husband. Once you said you would not do that he should have respected your wishes and never mentioned it again.

It's strange that in all of the years knowing him that he didn't mention that o did you know he liked or wanted to try that and thought once you got married that would change?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Yes I believe you'er write but he swairs he's faith full and he never goes out with out me and he don't get any calles but i do believe the person know he's married and she works with him..
but there's know way i can see him...
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

 

Wanda,

Then you have no choice but to trust him but tell him that his wanting a three some and going to swinger sites really bothers you and that it doesn't interest you AT ALL, as his wife you have that right to be respected and love from you husband and for him to love you and only you maybe mention to him about him getting help for his obsession with swinger sites and threesomes. Many men fantasize about that but do not obsess about their wives fulfilling that fantasy. That is a kind of mental adultery that now has you wondering if he is being faithful to you or is he fulfilling that fantasy with someone else because you won't do it for him.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
He yells at me when I tell him that and talks bad ords to...
I'm in the point that I'm getting affraid...
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

 

Wanda,

Are you afraid he will actually hit you or just the verbal attacks? either one is not a good thing and if the marriage is trouble already after only three months then you both definitely need so marriage counseling if he is willing to go if he isn't then maybe you should go alone so that you have someone to talk to, do you have a trusted friend or clergyman that you can talk to? You really need someone to talk to about what he is putting through before you drive yourself crazy with worry. You should be able to talk top him about anything without him getting made and yelling at you to the point where you are afraid. I am here as long as you need me to be here for you but you also need some outside counseling for your husband and his issues before your marriage is over before it gets started.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you for being with me in my sadest moments I feel so sad I really wanted to make this marriage work I'll talk to you some other time..
please pray for us thank you and God be with you...
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
OK Thank you so so much you have bin very nice...
this is the story of my life for you can get to know mw better I was treated for TTP I'm V-B12 insufficiency and I have slow memory I do my best for the day and you’re the first person I ever had that understands me and I thank you so much for your lovely help..

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