HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer.
Give me a second to read over your conversating and I will get back to you with my opinion. Thank you Thank you again for trusting us with your problem.
I thought that you had talked to MsChase and I wanted to read your conversation with her so that I could get a better idea of what you talked to her about but I could not find the conversation could you possibly send it to me so that I can better help you with your question?
Hello Karen, Please hold on a moment while I bring Kim up to speed. She will be with you in a moment. Info request is what we use as opposed to using the answer button. We only use the answer button when we have an answer. Don't worry about the info request. Hold on for a few minutes, someone will be with you.
First may I call you Karen? I totally agree with what MsChase said about compromising, if you put demands on your daughters about their boyfriends and coming over then that may force them to sneak around and neither you nor your husband want that. You should explain that to your husband the fact of whether he would wnat them where you both could be there or if he wants them to sneak around and you know nothing that is going on in your daughter's lives. Also maybe you could sit your daughter's down one day and talk to them about what you expect out of them and how you expect their friends to act while they are in your household, tell them how proud you are about how hard they work in school and that you were blessed with daughters that did the right thing and behaved well. I can tell by what you said to MsChase that you care about your daughters and in that case probably have already told them how proud you are of them but they are at the age where they have to make their own mistakes and learn from them and hopefully Nate will be a passing phase but if he isn't then she has to learn that mistake on her own.
Ask your husband to compromise like MsChase said and also ask him to try and have a little more patience as far as Nate and the girl's friends are concerned. Even though your husband as lost his job try not to throw that up in his face and also he could be just stressing about the job situation try giving it some time and maybe if he can find a job things will get better. He is probably tired of being without work and sometimes when we stress out about other things we take it out on the people that are closet to us. The time limit of 10pm on weeknights was a great idea this way after that time you and your husband can have peace and quiet. Also talk to the daughters about maybe hanging out more outside of the house doing positive things this too will give you and your husband alone time. He could also have a problem with not being able to have alone time with you whereas he was use to having that before the girls come home for the summer.
Just be thankful that this matter isn't as serious as some families go through with their teen children. For the most part you both have done GREAT jobs with your children and should be commended for that we lose so many teens to parents that just don't care it's refreshing when you find parent that don't just stop parenting when their children turn 18. If you have any more questions or still need help MsChase and also myself with be glad to help you as long as you need us to.
If you would feel more comfortable with MsChase answering that would be fine with me she is our top relationship expert. The choice is up to you. I will answer just in case it will help you and I would also like to apologize for calling him your husband. It's unfair that you have to pay for all of the bills because all of his money goes to his Corvette. A Corvette would be okay to keep if he could afford it and pay the bills but that just isn't the case. It's understandable that you love him and want to be with him but right is right. If he doesn't want to lose the car then he has to make much more of an effort to find another job since the unemployment doesn't help you with the bills because the Corvette takes all of his money. Maybe you should show him the household budget so that he see what all you have to pay while he is paying for a car that he can not afford right now, maybe it will make him either try harder to find a job or lose the car.
Also $900 is alot to pay for a car when that money could go towards the bills and more. I understand he bought the car when he had a decent job but he no longer has that decent job so he has to make some sacrifices in order to help you so that all the bills do not fall on you. Love is an important part of a relationship but when you live together so is financially helping is important also to relieve the stresses of just one person having to carry that burden. Maybe if you explain that to him he can better understand what you are going through and what you expect from him. This is another compromise you both are going to have to come to in order for your household to run better. Relationships are about give and take and sometimes we have to sacrifice the things we enjoy the most in order to help financially within the household. I hope I've helped you in any way and if you would rather have MsChase answer also I totally understand MsChase is an excellent relationship expert.
Maybe if you give it some time with the new job maybe things will get better financially later on down the road and he won't have to get rid of the car but if worse come to worse he may have to give up the car and that is a touchy subject with him but it will have to be discussed it's inevitable. Could you ask the people at the Marina if they could possibly take the money owed out of the payment you get for the boat? He can't keep pushing this aside because as long as he does that the fees pile up and will be outrageous he is going to have to talk about it so that you can come up with a solution. With the recession and things the way they are today it's going to be hard to keep all materialistic things. In order to keep your head above water there is going to have to be some compromises with the adult toys like , cars, boats, motorcycles that couples sometimes enjoy when they have the means to pay for them but when they don't they just have to do without them. As far as paying for our answers. You only pay if you are satisfied with our answers and if not you don't have to pay.