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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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what kind of relationship is he looking for

Customer Question

i met this guy in las vegas in 2003.i was 33 at that time and he was 43. he was looking for girlfriend.he wanted me to pay "some" of the bills. he did not want to get marry. he told me he had a 401 k, but I was not allowed to get his money. he wanted me to work, without him buying me much. plus he talk about him sex with differrent women.some people told me he does not respect he told he lacks attention from his mother growing up.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-Are you wanting to get married someday?

-Do you love this man?

-Do you get along or do you feel disrespected by him?

-Do you share the bills or does he keep things seperate?

-Do you men besides with you he likes to have sex with other women?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
he wanted a girlfriend that will pay "some" of the bills. he was being desrepectful because he talks about sex too often. he claims he had a 401k, but i "was not" going to get any of the money.I was not in love with him, after i saw with face. we met on the internet, then i met him in person. he was insecure about his looks.i do not want marry, because he does not want.
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.



If you are content with just being labeled his girlfriends then so be it but if you are not happy with things the way they are you need to either tell him how you feel or contemplate where you want you life to go in the future. He seems a little selfish and unable to care about your feelings and what you want. It seems as though it's his way or the highway, is that the case? The reason for his actions could be because he didn't get much attention from his mother when he was younger but at his age he should know by now how to treat a woman then that won't change unless he is willing to seek counseling. It seems to me like he wants the type of relationship where you share bills and have sex every once in a while which almost sounds like roommates to me. Do you think he loves you?

He may be incapable of loving a woman the way he should when in a relationship for so long. The final decision is yours as to whether you are happy with the relationship the way it is because it may never change unless he views marriage as a special bond between two people that can last a lifetime or views it as a chore. He is keeping the money from you because he knows you have no rights to it and he may be saving it for when he decides to retire, as far as seeing a prostitute that is pretty much playing Russian roulette with your life how do you know he isn't going to bring a disease back to you. Are you really happy in this relationship to the point where you want to stay in it? Just the fact that he is seeing prostitutes is a clear sign that he doesn't respect you or your feelings that is the lowest act of disrespect he could show a woman that he lives with.

Not to mention the money he has to spend on the prostitute that he could be spending on you but doesn't. You are worth much more than he has given you but only you can fix your situation especially if he isn't going to change. You deserve love from someone who will respect you and cherish you; it just doesn't seem like this guy does that or is even willing to do that for you.  

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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
i think you are right, he is looking for girlfriend roommate, without taking care of her.they want the sausage, but they do not want to buy the pig.i think that is an old saying.some guys do not want to take care of a woman in the relationship.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.



Yes some men today think nothing like those of old and it's up to us as to whether we want to put up with that kind of treatment. It may be time for you to think about whether you want the rest of your life or even many more years to be this way without any type of respect for how you feel and what you want. Maybe tell him if he doesn't start respect you in the relationship that he may lose you and see what his reaction is to that if he doesn't show much emotion he may not care about you or your feeling and you may have you answer. You should talk to him about that and also the fact that he constantly disrespects you and puts you in danger by sleeping with strange prostitutes.

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