HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:
-What are your ages?
-How long have you been dating?
-Do you plan to marry your girlfriend?
-How did her parent feel about her being pregnant without being married?-Could you explain your situation a little more?Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.
Thank you for replying and yes you gave me very god background on the situation. As far as the family is concerned Japanese culture is strict as far as what they want for their children but I think it has changed a little over the years. As for you changing your religion to appease her mother that is all fine and good but make sure it is something that you want to do before you make that big of a step changing religions is a HUGE deal and should be treated as such. I understand you want this time around to work but just remember life and people are not perfect you will make mistakes so don't get down on yourselves about the pregnancy make a joyous beginning for everyone involved. You will have to prove yourself to her family and if it doesn't happen the first time you meet them give it time they will warm up to you when they see that you want only the best for their daughter because after all that is what they want for her also. See you already have something in common with them already.
As far as a gift for meeting them for the first time maybe something oriental like a vase or a picture or something that deals with Christianity like a new bible or something religious this will show the mother that you are really trying to make an effort to win them over. When her parents see that you are there for the long haul they will feel better about her being pregnant and not married but you have to reassure them also that marrying her is your intention this will put their minds at ease and they will warm up to you. If they ask you question be completely honest with them even if it's about your marriage and divorce. No parent like someone who is willing to lie just to get what they want they will think that if you lie to them you would be willing to lie to their daughter and you don't want that at all.
Japanese customs usually want couples to get to know the parents and then date for a long period of time and then before they start making life changing decisions but since you are going to have a baby first, you should give the parents time to soak this in and try to deal with it because not only do they have to deal Japanese customs but Christian ones also. Just me yourself and the person your girlfriend fell in love with and everything else will fall into place and if not give them time to make their own decision about you but either way you are both adults and it's your life and since you are bringing a life into the world together it is up to you both to make your own happiness and if that doesn't include her family then so be it but you want to have a good relationship with the family especially in Japanese culture. I hope I've helped in some way and if you have anything to add or need more help let me know.
It's okay if you are not satisfied it is very important for you to get the answers that you need and I'm sorry my answer was vague but we have other experts that would be able to help you maybe more than I have would you like another expert to help you?
No reason to be sorry this is your life and your future, I have asked another expert if they could help you. Good luck to you!
Yes if they can answer your question.
An expert can help you but unfortunately not for a couple of hours if that is okay with you, she is a great expert with alot of knowledge?
Hello, I have read your question and am going to check into some things and post back
Congrats on the baby. :) First off, I would not hug and kiss her in front of them, if possible talk to her beforehand and ask her how she feels about it and tell her you won't be offended either way by her response. Let her know that you would love nothing more than to kiss and hug her all day, but that you want to do what's right and what her parents will expect, and that you will take your cues from her. You don't want her to think you are being standoffish, but you would rather not offend anyone.
Japan was once a matrilineal society and some of those ways still pass on to this day. Son in law's are expected to be very helpful in the family, and not necessarily to ask if they can be helpful, but to just do it. Whether it's taking out trash, setting a table, carrying bags, it may not be asked, but it may be expected. Ganbare (gun-ba-day) is a word of encouragement meaning "don't give up," "good luck," and "keep trying" all rolled into one. Ganbare is perhaps the most unique and defining Japanese attitude, it is a belief and a way of life. Feeling sad? Ganbare. Feeling tired? Ganbare. As a westerner or 'gaijin' you are not expected to understand everything the Japanese understand, but it would be good to pay attention and follow their lead. Most westerners are looked upon as a sort of novelty, and depending on the situation they will or won't be accepted.
In Japan, giving fruit is very traditional, a single cantaloupe tied with a bow in a wicker basket can sell for 100-200 dollars. The fruit must be a flawless and perfect selection. Putting together a small (or large) basket of various fruits for her parents would probably be well appreciated. Try adding fruits you might not normally see in a fruit basket (of you make it yourself) like lemon, lime, kiwi, pomegranate, you can even add some dried fruits, candied fruits, chocolates, etc.
For your girlfriend, a leather bound journal, with a beautiful pen, and some type of sweet, whether it's chocolate or candies fruits, or anything you know she might like. Perhaps some flowers, but something different like orchids, or lily's (unless you know what her favorite flower is) and it should be in white, to represent the purity of a mother to be. You can add one red for your love if you like.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.
First of all, let me apologize, I answered you very late last night and wasn't thinking. You're right that fruit, nor flowers would be allowed, and would likely be confiscated. You were ahead of me, as I thought about it this morning and was going to post back.
After a little more research, one of the best things to do is to pick up some things out of the duty free shop, and/or here's a few things that you can take over.
You can gift wrap some of the things or pack them and purchase a basket when you get to Japan.
I still think that a leather bound journal and a nice pen is a very nice gift, you can also buy her a piece of jewelry (bracelet, necklace, not sure if you're ready to go the ring route). If she likes art, an art book would be nice, if she likes poetry...a poetry book. Or one of my favorites, The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran is always impressive.
Let me know if you want to talk more.