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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Should I try to make amends sooner or later

Resolved Question:

Over the past 3 months I have been dating an old boyfriend from college, after reconnecting 25 years later. We started speaking frequently and then spent time together. Due to his work schedule and partial custody of his children, our time together was limited, although we still spoke often. He told his children about me which I knew was a good indication. When schedules wouldn’t allow us to see each other for almost two weeks (we don’t live in the same town) I was frustrated and commented maybe he needed some time. One comment lead to another -and we had a disagreement whilst texting - not the best way to discuss anything. He said I was “shoving” things in his face & maybe I was the one who needed time. He was very angry. I apologized & explained that he misinterpreted what I wrote and that I did care for him very much. He called me the next day and I thought it better to just let things go. The conversation went smoothly. After not hearing from him for three days, I called him. It sounded as if he “hung up” his cell phone. I tried again, the same thing -which I found odd. I then sent a text explaining that I had tried to touch base and couldn’t get through & could he please call. That was a week ago today. I have not made any other attempts to contact him. I would normally email or call again however his reaction to this is somewhat strange considering our age and I thought the bond we had. Should I leave the ball in his proverbial court and if he doesn’t call let it go or make an attempt to contact him and let him know that I still care and would like to work things out?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer.

Seeing that you called him and it seemed to you like he hung up his cell phone that could mean that he isn't ready or doesn't want to talk to you and is still a little upset with the whole situation. What I would do if he won't answer your calls is write him an email telling him your feelings and apologize for any misunderstanding and make it clear that if he doesn't answer the email you will take that as him not wanting to talk to you anymore. Give it a week and if he answers then take it from there but if he doesn't answer and your sure he has read it then I would leave it alone and perhaps he will contact you when he is ready but I wouldn't wait forever for him. Tell him that you still care about him and would like to work things out and if not you would like to at least be his friend. If you can possibly be that.

It seems like the texting is not a good idea for you both because you seem to take things wrong through words and if you were talking on the phone you could hear the tone in each others voices and also face to face you could see each other expressions when you text they pretty much have read what they understand into the words which isn't always correct. Ask him to at least give you a chance to explain yourself and then you will leave it alone if he want nothing else to do with you.

You don't want to live your life wondering what happened and this way you will either get closure or get another chance. Just write the email and see where that takes you and if he doesn't reply. then you should move on.

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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