Thank you for the bonus, it was very generous of you, and I appreciate it. More than that, I am happy that I am able to be of assistance to you during this time. I know how horrible it can be to deal with the changes he is putting you through. To answer your question, no....absolutely not, you are not crazy. What's crazy is that he made vows that he is totally disregarding. What's crazy is that you did your part as a wife, and he feels that he is exempt from being a good husband. What's crazy is that you take care of him, his children and his home and these other women are even allowed to become a factor in your life. No you're not crazy. We're not crazy when someone tells us something and we believe them. We're especially not crazy when our own husband tells us something and we believe them.
He actually gave you his password XXXXX instill truth, KNOWING that he was lying but assuming you wouldn't find the emails. Why not just delete the emails? Why is he confused? Where is this confusion coming from? HE's not confused, he knows exactly what he's doing. Sure, he may be confused as to why he can't control himself, but at this point, thats a personal problem. So now, this girl has "conveniently" moved to where he will be on the weekends he goes to drills and you are expected to believe that he's not seeing her?
Is he going to change? Well, the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Considering that he's done this before and even now is still lying, I would say the chances are slim that he will change. Who really cares if he wants to start a relationship with Mindy? Why is he even talking to you about that possibility? In a sense it sounds like it's already something he's done. It's not your fault, this is some issue that he has inside of him, and if he should get into a relationship with her or anyone else, it's pretty much guaranteed that he WILL do the same things again because it's not about the women, but about his own self esteem and his own self worth, and his need to have what he wants regardless of the price.
If you decide to stay with him, you do so with an open mind of what he's capable of. Capable of disrespecting his wife to make some random woman be with him. If you decide that you're going to leave, start putting money away and preparing yourself before you just up an leave. Above all, think about your sons and what they are getting out of this situation. Don't bash their dad, but do let them know that you are not comfortable with what he's doing. The longer you allow him to do these things with your sons around, the likelier the possibility that they will think that his behavior is acceptable and may wind up repeating it as adults.
I welcome your thoughts, so please respond if you want to talk more.
p.s. I know you're proud of them, and I know the surreal feeling, my daughter just turned 16, *sigh* I'm getting old. lol