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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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WHEN YOUVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR ABOUT 14 YRS AND

Customer Question

WHEN YU'VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR ABOUT 14 YRS AND NOW YOU JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU USED TO FEEL WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT SPARK AYMORE OR NOTHING DOES THAT MEAN YOUR FEELINGS ARE GONE OR WHAT. MY BOYFRIEND DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE HE USED TO WHE WE FIRST STARTED TALKING AND ALL.. I MEAN HE SOESN'T WANT TO GET A JOB OR ANYRHING. I PAY HIM 40.00 A MONTH FORE CLEANING UP MY HOME EVERYDAY BUT NOW HE'S STARTING TO SLACK UP ON THIS SITUATION. I BELIEVE HE'S CHEATING ON ME TOO. EVERYDAY HE LEAVES AND TELLS ME HE'S GOING OVER TO HIS BEST FRIENDS HOUSE BUT I THINK HE'S GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE TOO. HE GOT A CELL PHONE AND WHEN I CALL IT SOMETIMES HE JUST DOESN'T ANSWER IT AT ALL. I HONESTLY BELIEVE HE'S CHEATING ON ME CAUSE HE DID IT ONCE BEFORE. I DIDN'T GO TO HIS GRANDMA'S FUNERAL AND HE THOUGHT I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIM AT ALL ANYMORE SO HE TOOK UPON HIS SELF TO SAY WE JUST DON'T GO TOGETHER ANYMORE, BUT THE ONLY WAY I FOUND OU HE WAS TALKING TO
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

HelloCustomer/p>

It seems like you got cut off, so you can finish what you were going to say. I also have a few questions for you

Has he always been out of work? Why doesn't he want to get a job?

What are your ages?

Why did you stay with him the last time he cheated?

Why didn't you go to his grandmothers funeral?

Chase

Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
WAY I FOND OUT HE WASTALKING TO ANOTHER FEMALE WAS THROUGH HIS BEST FRIEND CIDA CAUSE HE WASN'T GOING TO LET ME KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TH OTHER WOMAN AT ALL. SHE GAVE ME HOME GIRLS PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS AN PHONE NUMBER COMPLETELY. NOW THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUETIONS.

1). YES AN NO BACK IN 2002 HE HAD A JOB A LIQUR EXPRESS LIQUOR STORE AND GETTING PAID UNDER THE TABLE. THEN HE GOT ANOHER JOB AT SUPER FAIR MAKET DOWN THE STEET FROM HIS OTHER JOB AND H WAS GETTING A PAYCHECK THEN. THEN LL OF A SUDDEHE JUST STOP GOING TO WORK PERIOD AFTER 1 1/2 YRS.

2). I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET A JOB NOW, BUT I'VE TRIED HELPING HIM GET SOMETHING. I'VE EVEN TOLD HIM TO GET FOOD STAMPS TO HELP OUT AROUND THE HOUSE WITH THE FOOD. HECAN'T GET THAT ANYMORE CAUSE HE DOESN'T HVE AN ADDESS TO SEN HIS CARD TO. HE CAN'T SEND IT TO MY HOME CUSE HE'LL MESS ME UP WITH MY SSI DISABILITY THAT I GET AND MY FOODSTMPS THAT I GET NOW.

3) MY AGE IS 43 YS OLD AND HIS AGE IS 38 YRS OLD.

4) I DON'T KNOW WHY I STAYED WITH HIM. I'M STARTING TO SAY f**k HIM CAUSE EVERYTHING HE DOES NOW IS EXACTLY GETTING ON MY NERVES WHAT CAN I DO. WHEN I GAVE HIM HIS MONEY ON 5/10/08 HE TOOK IT AND LEFT THIS HOME AT ABOUT 1:30 AM AND HE'S STILL NOT BACK HOME YET.

5) HIS GRANDMA FUNERAL, WELL LET ME TELL YOU I LIKED HIS GRANDMA AND SOME PEOPLE IN HIS FAMILY YEAH WE GET ALONG TO A CERTAIN EXTIENT BUT WHEN CHILL (THIS IS WHAT HIS NICKNAME IS) GOES AND TELL'S HIS FAMILY ON ME HE LIES ON ME ALL THE TIME WHEN HE MEANTION'S ME TO HIS FAMILY.
OF COURSE I TOLD HIM I WOULD COME OR TRY TO MAKE IT TO HIS MOTHER AND GRANDMA'S FUNERAL BUT IN REALITY I DON'T DO GOOD AT FUNERALS AT ALL. I'M BI-POLAR AND I GOT TOURETTES SYNDROME, AND SEVERE DEPRESSION AND I CAN'T AKE FNERALS AT ALL. WHEN MY FATHER DIED IT TOOK ALOT OUT OF ME. I LOST MY FATHER MY BEST FRIEND ME AND MY FATHER WAS A WHOLE TOGETHER. OF COURSE I LOVE MY MOTHER TOO BUT I DON'T TAKE TOO GOOD TO ANYONE ELSE BUT MY FATHER AND WHEN HE PAST AWAY AND NO ONE CALLED US SAYING THAT MY DAD HAD PASSED AWAY. SEE WE NEVER FOUND UT ABOUT MY FATHERS DEATH FOR 2 1/2 WEEKS CAUSE THE NURSING HOME HE WAS IN, THE HOSPITAL HE GOT SENT TOO, AND THE GUARDING CARE CARETAKER NEVER EVER CALLED US OR ME TO EVEN SAY MY FATHER HAD DIED ON MARCH 3 2003. JUST THINK FINDING OUT 2 1/2 WEEKS LATER I f**kED UP. WOW WHAT A LIFE. I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO SAY TO MY FATHER HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM OR ANYTHING. ALL MY RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED. YOU UNDERSTAND, THIS IS ONE REASON WHY I DON'T DO FUNERALS.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hello Msts,

I'm sorry to hear about your dad, no one should ever have to miss their parents funeral like that, it's very unfair and I can't imagine how badly that must have hurt you. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I believe that if you want, you can talk to your father in your prayers, he's available to talk to you anytime you want. I'm sure that he is missing you and loving you like he always did. People get very personal when it comes to funerals, and even though you have your reasons for not going, which are understandable, he seems to be holding on to the fact that you didn't go.

You've stayed with this man for a very long time and he's pretty much shown you that he's not willing to be a helpful, loving part of your life. If that's the case then why have him in your life at all? A relationship is meant for two people to share, and to enrich one another's lives, there is no way he should be leaving for days at a time and leaving you by yourself. You may want to consider not giving him money anymore, you are not his parent, you are his partner. After everything you have done for him, and now for him to bring this girl into the picture is like a slap in the face. You have to decide if you can do better with him or do better by yourself. No one wants to be alone, but you shouldn't have to deal with someone disrespecting you, or making you feel bad about yourself or your life.

I know you have a lot to deal with, but you're a smart woman, and I think you can do anything you put your mind to. You just have to believe in yourself and what you are capable of. Sometimes the helping hand we seek is right at the end of our own arms, other times we have to look for help in other places or people, and sometimes, helping others is the best help we can give ourselves.

I'm here if you want to talk more.

Chase

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