HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:
-What are your ages?
-How long have you been dating?
-Does he use the Arts and Crafts room?-Does he use the office?
-Is this issue threatening your relationship?
-Does it bother you alot that he wants a room to himself?Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.
Thank you for your reply:
I understand your concern about his using that room for a place to hide and do the things that you do not agree with but you have to talk this out before you are unpacked so that you are both on the same page. There has to be some type of compromise if indeed this is threatening your relationship. You don't want the relationship to fail even before you both have gotten unpacked. He probably thinks of those other rooms as your rooms because he doesn't do much arts and crafts and only uses the office for the computer, but you have to make it clear that there is no room in the house that is off limits to anyone and that you want the entire house to be both of your house and picking and choosing rooms will divide the household.
He may have come from a family where his father had a den of his own where he could go to get away and just relax and that may be why he wants the room for himself a place for him and his friend to go and maybe watch tv or other activities. It is important not to let this go you should sit down with him right away and discuss the living arrangements within the house. If you bought the house yourself he may feel like he didn't have a part in the house and he wants to have a room that is his and he can claim, explain to him that he is welcome in any part of the house and that you don't feel that he should have to want to have a room to himself when you are both in a relationship together.
Only if you feel completely comfortable should you accept him having his own room to relax in, relationships are about give and take and making compromises with each other to make the living arrangement as comfortable as possible could you possibly allow him to have his own room but compromise and tell him that if you do compromise then you should be allowed to enter the room whenever you want to without permission? If you don't feel comfortable with that arrangement then you have to tell him that in no uncertain terms.
Once again thank you for trusting me with your answer.
Thank you for replying back:
If you are fitting bills for everything then he pretty has to abide by what you want and need if it is contributing to the household income and has the potential to contribute to the household income. I totally understand you not wanting a room mate and being afraid that he will spend every waking moment in his room and since you are using the room as office and arts and crafts then he will have to use to the computer. Do you have a basement? Maybe you could allow him to make something there if you do or maybe a part of the garage. I'm sure if you both talked this out you could come up with some type of compromise. Maybe he could later down the line build a shed or a type of little place outside for his enjoyment, there is always other options.
You both just have to be willing to make those compromises in a calm and exact way. You don't want something as little as a room come between your relationship. it's important that you both listen to each others feelings and wants and needs but right now him having his own is not a necessity but you have an office is and also your art and crafts room if it's going to bring income to the household.