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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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if you are interest in a romantic relationship with someone ...

Resolved Question:

if you are interest in a romantic relationship with someone who is a good friend of your, and is seeing someone else. what is the best way to deal with your feeling without damaging your friendship with them?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello lh

Are you male or female? Is the other person male or female?

How long have you been friends with this person?

Do you think they may have the same feelings toward you?

What are your ages?

How long have they been involved with the other person?

Chase

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello Lh

you wrote

i am a 53 year old male who is interested in having a relationship with a 40 year old female i've known for two years. we are very good friends, and given time i think it could be more. she recentlly got devorced and i think started see someone, though when i ask her if he was her new guy, she said "kind of i guess" i don't whant to give up on future possiblitys. my question is how do i deal with my feelings without damaging a friendship that is dear to me

...................................

I have a couple of questions.

Do you think she has feelings for you?

Has it ever come up in conversation?

Do you spend time with here going out and doing things together? Where do you know her from?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
1. she values me as a good friend, beyond that iam not
sure.
2. no we've never really talk about it.
3. we do hang out and do things togeather, though it's harder since her
devorce she's move to a town that is an hour away and she's not able to drive at
present. she was a nurse that teated me after caderact surgery two year ago.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Lh

It's possible that she already knows that you like her. It might be why she was slow on admitting this could be her boyfriend. In most cases I would suggest going out more. If you can drive to where she's at, ask her if she would like to go out to dinner and a movie sometime and see what she says. Spend more time with her and show her that extra attention and if there's something there, she will let you know in her own way. If you're not able to see her more often you may want to simply ask her. You can say something like, "I value your friendship, and I would never dream of doing anything to ruin that, but I wanted to know if you could ever see us as more than friends?"

It puts the ball in her court without coming out too much about how you feel. If she says "well, i really see you as just a friend", you can say, "that's fine, it's something I was thinking about the other day" and let it go at that.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Chase

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Ms Chase
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Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues