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Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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I have been living with my fiance now for ...

Resolved Question:

I have been living with my fiance'' now for nearlyone and a half years. I love him very much however our opinions about life is very different. Do you think I am crazy because I have been asking him for the last year to get rid of his ex-girlfiends belongings that she left behind nearly five years ago! He says that he is waiting untill he has the money to send them to her or take them to the dump. I have waited for a year and still the things are not gone. In addition he keeps pictures of the two of them in his picture album on his computer. I have told him that he can live with her things, but I am not and I will be looking for my own place soon if he does not move her things ASAP!He says, that I am acting like a crazy person because I cannot drop the subject.Am I?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 8 years ago.

Hello,

No you are not being a crazy person Laughing You are a normal women who feels that your boyfriend should be more concerned with you then her memories.

My question is why is he taking a chance on losing you simply to keep these things? The fact is some guys have a hard time with letting go.....which is fine when you are single and getting over the ex. With the amount of time you have been together this is a bit much. Since it is interfering with your relationship it is time to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him.

You may want to offer a compromise.....let him know that while you understand his need to keep memories it is hurting your feelings and making you feel that he is placing the memories over you. Talk to him about renting a storage unit to store the things to not only keep them out of the relationship but to prevent them from being destroyed.

Ask him if you can set a time limit on either getting rid of the things or giving them back, such as a year. As far as the pictures, I would let him know how this makes you feel and ask that they be printed and stored with the other belongings as well. If he refuses then you have to do what is right for you......if you feel it is time to go then be honest with him. Let him know why you are leaving.....do not set it as a simple "Her things" issue....let him know the reason you are leaving is because him keeping her things while knowing how it upsets you makes you feel he is putting these memories over you.

Let him know that you still love and care about him, and if he is ready to get rid of the things or put them away some where then you will consider getting back together.

I wish you the best,

Walter

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