Have you talked to him about it?
Any other problems in the relationship?
I think that the words you used at the end of your question 'i feel i have missed out on 8 years of my life and i don't want to miss out on the next". I think that in many ways you already know what you have to do. You will have to confront him about this and find out what the issues are. If he's not willing to not only talk, but move towards working things out, then you will have to decide if it's worth it to stay with him. You can only be rejected for so long before you start feeling that there is something wrong with you and that you don't deserve to be loved. This type of situation takes a lot away from your self esteem, and his lack of wanting to communicate only makes things worse. You deserve to have someone who wants to be with you, communicate with you and love you like you need to be loved. It's not easy breaking off a relationship, but if you're honest with yourself, you will admit that there really isn't a relationship, just two people together. You have to get it together, whether it's with him or on your own. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.
The issue is not him. Do you hear what I'm telling you? The issue is not him....the issue is you. You stay with him because you feel like you don't deserve better. Once you realize that you do deserve better, you will drop him like a hot potato.
Who has hurt you so much in your life that you feel like you dont deserve to be loved?
Why do you feel like you are worth nothing?
What do you do for a living?
Do you have children?
What do you like to do for fun?
before him...who hurt you?
when did you first start feeling like you deserved nothing? was it before him or after him?
has he cheated on you? you on him?
has he ever gotten physical with you?
has he told you that you wouldnt get anyone better than him or anything along those lines?
In what ways has he hurt you?
The fact is there are plenty of guys out there who would treat you better than him. It's just that you've been in this relationship so long that you can't see that. It's possible that you may have even outgrown him and his immaturity. You do deserve better, but you are probably scared to be on your own. There's nothing wrong with being on your own and loving yourself, and spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself....you should love yourself more than you love anyone else. Once you love and know yourself, then you can open yourself to loving and getting to know someone else. This guy is taking away the essence of what is Sarah and that is unacceptable. You are a talented, beautiful, powerful woman, and you can do better. If he can't shape up, then he needs to ship out, as my mother used to say. You don't need someone who is going to bring you down. I know it might seem impossible, but nothing is impossible. You can have a happy life, your new life can start at the very moment that you realize that you deserve better and can have better. Even right now as you are reading this, you can make a choice to make your life better, with him or without him. I'm here if you want to talk more.
No one can use you unless you let them use you. We teach people how to treat us.
Would you rather be by yourself, or be with someone who makes you feel worthless?
There's nothing wrong with feeling scared, that's natural. If you do decide to leave, you will want to be by yourself for a while, because you will want to get to know yourself. There's a lot that you can learn about what you like and don't like and the type of life you want to live. You should also be able to think about what you want and don't want out of a relationship, and if you meet someone give yourself a good long time before getting involved with them. Its not going to be easy, but it's not impossible, and you have to have faith that above all, you know what's best for you.
Oh Sarah, you know you don't deserve that ype of treatment, why would you put up with it? It's hard to say what anyone would do in someon else's situation. I would like to think that if it happened to me, I would have called the police and had him arrested.
Ask yourself, if he thinks you're ugly, and no one else would ever want you, then why is he concerned about you cheating? It doesn't make sense. It's a situation that's not about love, but about control He's become used to controlling you since you were a kid (yes, 15 is a kid, not old enough to understand the complexities of a relationship) and continues to control you, emotionally and physically.
You're afraid to be on your own, because you've never been on your own, but the fact is, women live on their own all the time and do very well.
Remember thats a choice Sarah
ps, please remember to click the green accept button if I have helped, so that I may get credit for my work with you.
You know that's not true, but if you keep telling yourself that, then that's all you're going to believe. Thats sad though, and a waste of your life to let someone have this type of control over you. You should definitly consider counseling or therapy to help you through this.
So basically, you have your whole life ahead of you, and because this person, who is living their life and doing what they want to do, and abusing you at the same time......you would rather take your life...than to move away from him? If you killed yourself, or gave up, what would that solve? He would just eventually move on with his life, while you lost yours? You've got to love yourself more than that. Do you have any family you can stay with or talk to? If you reach out to a domestic violence program near you, some of them will give you a place to stay until you get on your feet. This isn't your fault, and it's only because you're depressed that you can't see that there is someone out there for you. There is someone out there who can love you like you need to be loved, but if you don't leave, you'll never figure it out. Giving up is a cowards way out....why should you give up on life, when you can just give up on the problem....HIM! You have to take that first step, which is admitting that you will be better off if you get out of this situation. I know it's scary, but think about it....in a year from now, you can be a single, doing something amazing with your life, maybe meeting the man of your dreams, or doing something you've always wanted to do. You just have to take the first step.