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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Ms. Chase. (or another relationship expert) Yes it is the ...

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Ms. Chase. (or another relationship expert) Yes it is the same Chinesegirl as before. Now she has spent some time with her new boyfriend and finally today she said out her feelings to me. She said 1) She loves me 2) I am still the only one that can understand her well and 3) She would like to come back to me BUT she said she won't come... "Sorry, I would like to say 'yes, I do' but my decision is made" today I asked her what this meant. Eventually she told me she won't come back coz she doesn't want to and is afraid of "losing face". Losing face is important in Asia, but I think she's taken it to a whole new level :) I've asked her "Which is worse, lsing face one time or not going with the guy you love?" My question to you is... Is there any way to convince her to come back and that she won't lose face?? It just seems so sad if she really loves me but won't come back coz of this. She said how she wishes she made a better decision but, that she made it now, in her mind she can't go back
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hanoi,

I understand losing face, but love is love regardless of time or place. If she really loved you this would not be an issue for her. You are right when you say that she is taking it to another level, I think she is making excuses. If she's willing to lose you, then I think it's time to walk away and the strength of that love. How much talking have you done to convince her and she still isn't seeing your side of things? You said that she's sending you mixed signals, and maybe she is confused, but as long as you pursue her, then she doesn't have to make a decision. You said there's another girl thats interested in you, maybe you need to date for a while and give her time to miss you, and see if that helps. You can't convince someone to either do what's not in their heart, or to do what they feel is not right, if they do, they will wind up resenting you for it. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Chase

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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