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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Im together for 5 years and 2 years married. I have

Resolved Question:

I'm together for 5 years and 2 years married. I have 19 month son and I am 32 years old. My husband has no people skills and you do it to attitude. So it is fighting with him all the time. We don't comproimse at all. He is right that is it and I am the same way on my half. But I come up with solution. He just leaves the house and that is it. He leaves for 8 hours or all night to get over the agreement. I don't think this is health for our son. He is set in is ways. We did go to couseling and he did not tell the truth. So it did not help. How do you handle someone with no people skills?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hello Linda,

Was he this way before you got married?

Where does he go or stay when he leaves for 8hrs or overnight?

Chase

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: Befor our marriage. XXXXX XXXXXve at his parents house. When Jason got mad at his parents. He would go to his bed room.
His parents said just leave him alone.
Now when we have a problem he would leave the house. He would come back but we don't discuss it. He would also be right.
He goes all night listen to his audito books on tape, sleep his car and go to casino.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hello Linda,

It's difficult to say how to deal with someone who has been this way since you met. You have to ask yourself why you stayed with someone who acted this way, even from the beginning. You have to figure that the relationship between his mother and his father is a relationship he is either consciously or subconsciously mimicking. The question is, what more can you do with someone who lies in counseling and refuses to compromise? You have to decide at this point if this is the relationship that you want to remain in? How will it affect your son as he gets older and more able to understand what's going on. Your son could turn out like his dad, and as an adult, do the same things to his wife, like his father and grandfather before him. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, and if this is the way he's always been, its not likely he will change unless something happened bad enough to compel him to change (death, break up) and even then it might not be enough.

He should not be leaving the house for hours at a time without you knowing exactly where he is. He is a married man and an adult, he should be able to have the strength and self control to handle his problems with his wife, like a man, not like a child running away. Don't call it a 'guy thing' because that gives him permission to continue the behaviors. If you want to be closer to his parents, try calling them sometimes. They would probably be surprised and happy to hear from you.

You have to think about your son. How things are affecting him. He is the most important thing right now, because he is innocent and knows nothing about all of these things.I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Chase

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