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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I have been married twice, presently with a wonderful ...

Customer Question

I am presently married to my second husband for 15 years. During that time he has accepted by grown daughter (35 years old) and only grandchild as his own. He''s been financially helpful when their family bought a home with a major part of the downpayment. We recently moved nearby, at their request, to help in any way we could. Daughter has inquired about our legal Will which left my share of the home to my husband. She is enraged, and feels 50% of our home should willed to her since she is my only child -- or threatens not to see us again. This has caused such a family break, and such hurt feelings we are literally sick about it. Neither of us have ever heard of someone demanding a certain amount in a Will, but since she is my daughter I am confused. To bequest 50% to her would leave my husband so little he would not be able to buy even a small coop in New York where we live. The daughter does have a lovely home, and albeit with a mortgage, lives better than we do. I'm sure the 50% would pay off her mortgage. Any attempts to talk reason about this ends in another heated arguement--we haven't seen them or our grandchild in many months. Please advise, we're besides ourself and do not know right from wrong at this point.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Lynn

I am sorry to hear about your problem.

Is the new house you moved into completely paid for, or did you take a mortgage?

Is your daughter married?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Hello Chase,

The home we moved into has what I'd consider a small mortgage on it. It's about 1/5 of the Market Value of the Home.

My daughter is married, to a fireman who stopped working after September 11th, when the Twin Towers were attacked. They have a Lieutenant's retirement comint in and two Social Security Disability checks.

My husband has one Pension check since Federal Employees are not entitled to Social Security benefits.

Sorry I could not answer sooner, we were not here.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Thats ok Lynn, you can answer anytime at your convenience.

It's not uncommon for parents to talk to their children about their will and what will happen once they pass. What may not be as common is a child demanding a change in the will. On one hand, I can see that she feels that since she is the only child that maybe she deserves to have something when you pass. However one the other hand, she has her own husband and her own family. How would she feel if you asked to be in her will and get half of her house? How would her husband feel about that? You've been with your husband 13 years and shouldn't have to explain to anyone your reasons or what you plan to do when you pass.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more


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