Were these fantasies you had before you were married?
Posting pictures of you? her? both?
How old are the two of you? How long have you been married?
I apologize, I had not seen your response. I will work on your post now. Give me a few minutes to review and respond. Again, I apologize for any inconvenience
You've brought up some interesting points. One being resentment towards her for the lack of sex, which is a real possibility, particularly since the fantasies involve some sort of aspect of being 'caught'.
I wouldn't say that's the whole reasoning.....these fantasies are not as uncommon as you think. However, although they are not uncommon, they are not commonplace enough to expect her to comply right off the bat. The fact that you say sex has dropped to 2 or 3 times a year means that you'll have to start in essence from scratch before you could approach her with these fantasies. There has to be a certain amount of sexual trust developed before she could even be expected to consider these requests.
I'm sure you have trust between the two of you, but your sex life is lacking, and theres many things you can do to bring it back to life, but it's going to take efforts from both of you not just one. Getting a babysitter every other weekend if possible and basically taking things back to the days when you first met and trying to capture that fire, passion and excitement that was once there. Remember those days when she would do anything for you and you would do anything for her?
Yes, a fantasy life, especially one that is fed on todays world wide web can result in unrealistic expectations. While she may flatly refuse one thing, she may comply with another, but either way it's going to take time, and most of all trust. Engaging in exhibition type fantasies, requires a large amount of trust and intimacy....if someone is not comfortable in their skin or with their partner, it's not going to happen without a lot of work. If the two of you are not consistently intimate with each other, it's going to be near impossible to get her to even consider these things. You can't go from 0 to 100, there has to be a middle ground.
A strip tease in a secluded but public place. Would she do a strip tease for you in your own bedroom? What's in it for her? Engaging in sexual activity in our backyard or in the car on the side of the road. Is your backyard visible to the neighbors? Is there a way you can make your backyard more conducive to passion? Sharing a picture with an excited chatter online. Are you aware that pictures, once put online can never be retrieved? Could find their way onto endless porn sites? Are sometimes used by excited chatters as blackmail? Any pictures taken for online use should never show any identifying features. This includes tattoos, moles, faces, backgrounds, etc....all of which can be photo shopped out of the picture. Flashing a passing trucker on the highway. Takes a lot of guts. Worst case scenario, some truck driver takes down your plate number.
Don't get me wrong, as a woman I'm telling you that there are safety issues. There are also comfort issues. I'm not saying these things are impossible or improbable, you just have to figure out how to work them into what you already do. Perhaps if she knew that none of the pictures would identify her, she would consider it. Perhaps if you asked her to take some pictures of you to get the ball rolling, might help.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more
No problem. I look forward to speaking with you.
You sound like you love your wife. Consider that the resentment may not be targeted at her exactly but more toward the situation that has grown worse over the years, for whatever reason. Try not to place the blame on anyone in particular, sometimes life just gets in the way.
Patience is key. You're right, bit by bit, encounter after encounter can help her feel more and more comfortable. However what's really going to help her be more open is you. You've got to figure out what pushes her buttons, and most of all figure out what really turns her on.
If you can get her turned on, and I mean white hot, it may take some work on your part, but boy will it be worth it. It all depends on how much you're willing to invest. Sexuality and passion has to reach outside the bedroom, and gravitate away from the genitals to get the type of passion your looking for. That I don't care who sees us, I have to have you now, type passion. It's going to have to appeal to her brain, and you want he to be at work or at the supermarket, thinking about making love to you.
First thing is opening the lines of communications (patience), simply talk about sex more. Tell her what you like about her body, the nape of her neck, her breasts, her scent, her eyes. Ask her what her fantasies are, what would she like to do that she's never done, and then make it happen for her. Buy a sensual book (not sex book) but something that has tasteful nudes of men and women, something you can give her as a gift.
Try giving her a massage....full body, nothing but a towel, candles, music, wine, the works, whatever you know she likes. You can use a bristle hair brush and brush her body from her neck to her toes, and after use hot oil (sit in a sink of hot water) to give her a massage. Make her feel good without expecting anything back from her, even if it means letting her fall asleep and kissing her on her forehead.
Order some catalogs on sex toys, and look at them in the bed together and see what interests her and order it. Leave sexy and sweet notes for her in the least likely places. Call her in the middle of the day just to tell her you're thinking about her. You can get thousands of ideas for romantic idea by simply googling 'romantic ideas'.
I it has to be a tent, then let it be a tent. You can move on from there. If you're not showing your faces in the pictures, then don't worry about it. Why don't you offer her to take your pictures first. Or the two of you can take pictures while having sex. Let her keep the camera or hold the pictures until she feels comfortable. If she never wants to post them, don't push, if you can get her to even take the pics that will be a first step.
You may be right about the truck driver one, maybe I watch too many horror movies. (smile)
I don't consider these thoughts too over the top or deviant, although I know there are people that would. She may not consider them right now, but in time she may trust you enough and feel passionate enough to be willing to compromise.
I hope this helps