Thank you for all of that additional information and for being so forthright with me. I know you don't have many good thoughts toward therapy, and I want to tell you that this is not uncommon. Therapy can be like any other relationship where two people just don't get along as well as they could or should. Yes, these people are trained in what they do, they are not just regular people trying to make a fool out of you, they are professionals who have had to go to school for a very long time to lean how to treat other people and help them with their problems.
I definitely think after everything you've told me that you should be in therapy. If nothing else, therapy can help you develop coping skills to deal with people, help you open up more about how you're feeling, and possibly put you on medications that can help with your anxiety. If in fact you are suffering from anti social disorder, or anything close to it, therapy should be mandatory, and medication may be to. Imagine that it may be possible to feel somewhat normal if you can get a grasp on what needs to be done to make you feel better about yourself and the world around you.
Thats not to say that therapy or medication in of themselves are any type of miracle cure, just that they are at least a buffer in your life that can help you get started/pointed in the right direction. I know it would feel good to you to feel like you have some sort of control over your life, and to feel less anxious. Like I said before, you are not marrying your therapist.....but you do have to give it some time before you will see results. What might seem insignificant to you, could be important to them.
I know it's hard, and I can tell you are in pain over this. I'm urging you to go ahead and talk to a therapist. You have to be open and tell them the same things you are telling me so that they can give you an accurate diagnosis. No games. Also, I'm always here, I know I took a while to get back to you, i had a family emergency. But I will always get back to you. Anytime you need to talk, you can feel free to request me by name if you want to talk to me. Let me know if you want to talk more