I say 7 months might not be enough time to really know someone inside and out. If you give him a little more time then you will know that he's is sure of whatever he decides to do, that if he feels more comfortable and closer to you, the more likely it is that he will choose to be with you. He's telling you what he wants/needs, the best you can do is give it to him and see what he does with it.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.
I understand what you mean when you say that you know what you want, unfortunately he's saying that he's not sure. Don't you want him to be sure? You have to give him the space he is asking for because the botXXXXX XXXXXne is you can't force him to take this to the next level, he has to want to do that himself. It's natural for someone to feel hesitant after they've been hurt, and if they feel pressured by the next person, they can start to mistake the pressure for something else....they can start questioning how they really feel and start to put the distance between you. Just give him the space and try to stress out. When he sees that you are relaxed and not agitated or trying to push him in a certain direction, it's highly likely that he will go in that direction on his own.
If he doesn't....then at the very least you will know where the relationship stands, and you will see that either he is meant to be for you or not. I don't think that him feeling this way should throw up red flags, but that you should always understand that things can happen. Nothing in life is perfect, we have to enjoy and appreciate the good things we get in life and not spend out time worrying about the bad. Nobody wants to get hurt, but it happens....its how we deal with the hurt, and how we deal with our fears of loss, that makes us the people we are. Just like he is showing fear, you are showing fear and all that can do is push you further apart. Let him know if he wants to take it slow, thats fine with you, and really mean it, and see how things go.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more
You're assuming that he consciously knew that he married his wife to keep her. You don't know for sure what was in his mind when he married her, or how he was feeling. It's obvious it had a large negative impact on him and it has made him (perhaps overly) cautious of getting caught up in the same type of situation. You know what you are about, you know what you are capable of, but obviously he doesn't feel like he knows you well enough or trusts the situation well enough to come to a definite conclusion.
I do not think he should be emailing his wife about you. He split up with his wife, and should not keep contact with her to the point where he is discussing his current relationship. Is he trying to get her back? Is he over her? Is he trying to make her jealous? He should keep what goes on between the two of you, between the two of you.
I understand that you feel like this is some type of test or that he feels like he is better than you, but as I told you before, you cannot dictate when he is ready or how he feels, only he can come to this conclusion. If you put it in your head that you know your a good woman, and if he decides not to be with you then so what, it's his loss! then you will be much calmer about the situation. Again, I believe that 7 months is not enough time to get to know someone all that well, and certainly don't think it's enough time to be engaged to someone. It's because of rushing into things that we think we know someone and then a year later we're wondering why they're acting crazy.....we never gave ourselves time to really get to know them.