How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ms Chase Your Own Question

Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
1042561
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Ms Chase is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

i am 35 and disabled,i hav recently started developing ...

Resolved Question:

i am 35 and disabled,i hav recently started developing strong feelings for my gynaecologist. i have been under her care for almost 3 years and for about 15 months in the beginning i would see her once a month. she performed a hysterectomy on me 4 months ago,but its only since the beginning of this year that i have developed this crush on her (i do have strong bi-sexual tendencies anyway,although have never done anything about that),ever since i sent her a couple of emails with some very personal and a bit embarasing info about me its almost as if now she knows personal stuff about me,since then i can't get her out my head.i had my 1st clinic appt with her(since my surgery)this week, and i even ended up asking her over for dinner as a way of saying thank you, XXXXX XXXXX has given me lots of her time and atention,more than other consultants ever have. she accepted the dinner invitation. i cant seem to stop thinking about her,i think what i really want is her as my friend,is this wrong?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello Alp,

I'm actually surprised that she accepted your dinner invitation, as it would seem a little unprofessional to go to a patients house for dinner, but perhaps after dealing with her for so long she feels comfortable enough to do this. It's not abnormal for someone who has gone through as much as you have, and to have put so much trust in your doctor, to develop feelings for them, they are after all in many ways responsible for our health and wellness. We look at them much the way we look at priests, or lawyers, they have the inside line on how to make it right and they hold so much power in their hands, so it's natural to look up to them.

I would hold off on expressing your feelings just yet. Let her come to dinner and you can spend some quality time with her as a friend. It would not only be unethical, but illegal for the two of you to become involved romantically, but if that's the way that this is going, then you would have to find out the time frame within which you would have to dismiss her as your doctor before you could become involved.

It's not 'wrong' to feel any particular way about someone, it's only wrong if it hurts other people, so it's important to know the right thing to do under any circumstance.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Warmly

Chase

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
i have no intention of telling her how i feel as i know she is married to a man! but i don't know how to bring up the subject to her that i look on her as a friend, someone who i feel i can easily talk to, and does she mind that, does she mind if we stay in touch, socialise from time to time. i wouldn't know what to say.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Even though she is married to a man, she may still have feelings. It doesn't necessarily mean that she should or will act on them. The fact is, she has already accepted your invitation to dinner. So in some way she already looks upon you in some sort of social sense, or she would not have accepted your invitation. Once she comes to your house for dinner, just be casual, and talk like you would talk to any friend. I believe that she is already willing to be social and stay in touch with you, but once you have dinner, you will see that.

Let me know if you want to talk more

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
i will accxept your answer, how can i come back and talk to you specifically about this again if i need to, nearer the time?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

HelloCustomer

You can come back to this question and re-open it, or you can post a question asking for me in the subject line (ie; dear mschase). I'm glad to help and am here for you anytime.

Warmly

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
i am due to see my gynae in clinic again in 3 days time, ams am so looking forward to seeing her! (she has not yet been over for dinner). I have not been able to get her out of my mind,its driving me crazy, but as i said before its not a sexual feeling, im quite confused how i feel.
My best friend doesnt know i have strong bi tendencies, i feel as though i want to tell her (i dont have feelings for her!) but have no idea how she will react. i have been having an affair with a married man for 6 years and only he knows, he is going to take me to a sex club in a couple of months time to see if i can get some action with a girly, even if only toucning breasts. I want to tell my friend im going to do this but dont know how to.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello alps,

Somehow I overlooked your recent response. How did your gynae visit go?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I saw my gynae earlier this week. Was really good to seer her again, as i havnt stopped thinking about her. She did say,however , that she'd looked into the guidelines and while she is my gynae she isn't able to come over for dinner, but once i've been discharged from her, she can then. I am going crazy thinking about her, i'm spending every spare minute finding asmuch info on the internetbas i can about her, mad i know! There's no way i'm going to tell her though that i'm obsessed with her, even looking at her handwriting makes me feel good. I have a good memory and can memorise most of my conversations with her, so i have written them up, i think about her so much. surely this can't be healthy? but it puts a smile on my face when i start thinking about her.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Sometimes a crush can be like that, or if we admire someone so much. As for the guidelines, thats what I had mentioned in my original answer with you. There are certain rules that prevent medical personal from becoming involved with their patients, as it's not unusual for people to become overly attached to them. I wouldn't suggest telling her, and I do think that if you feel like its becoming an obsessive distraction that you may want to talk to a counselor or therapist about it. As I said before, it's not unusual in the sense that people see them as very powerful figures, we pretty much put our lives and health in their hands. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
My best friend doesnt know i have strong bi tendencies, i feel as though i want to tell her (i dont have feelings for her!) but have no idea how she will react. i have been having an affair with a married man for 6 years and only he knows, he is going to take me to a sex club in a couple of months time to see if i can get some action with a girly, even if only toucning breasts. I want to tell my friend im going to do this but dont know how to, as she's made comments in te past that she doesnt like watching 2 girls kiss.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Well, as long as you make it clear from the outset that you are not interested in her 'like that'. You can let her know that you won't kiss any girls in front of her (smile). If she is a true friend, she will understand. Even if it does bother her a bit, she will understand that you're not hitting on her. Keep in mind that it's not necessary to tell her if you don't want to.

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
As i said my boyfriend is taking me to a sex club, and hopefully i will be able to have some fun with a girly. i so want to experience intimacy with a woman to see if my feelings for the same sex really are true, my b/f totally understands this, and is the only person who knows this about me.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Yes, I did read that. I think it's great that if you are interested in girls your boyfriend would be supportive of that and willing to explore that with/for you, instead of being jealous or dismissive of it. As long as whatever you do is what you want to do, and doesn't hurt anyone, you should feel free to explore your sexuality any way you like.

:)

Chase

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
853 Satisfied Customers
Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues