How long have you been married?
What are your ages?
What kinds of problems are they starting?
how is he reacting?
What have you tried so far?
I apologize, I did not see your response. I'm a little at a loss here because everything I would think you need to do, you've already said you can't do. My first thoughts would be to clean house, and not allow all of these family members run over you in your house. You're right, the home is a place where he should want to come, but no one wants to come home to a 3 ring circus. If your family is starting trouble and can't respect you or your husband, then they may have to go, there may be no other choice. You have to be the one to control your home and what happens there. As for your daughter waking up in the middle of the night, maybe there's too much going on in the house and it's interrupting her sleep. Either way, he has to understand that, sure she's waking up, but what's he going to do when the baby comes? It's a lot of pressure all the way around, you have to remember that you can't be everything for everybody, its just not possible, and being under all of this stress could cause you to have complications with your pregnancy. You have to relax and make your house a home that is comfortable for you first, then him, then your children and if after that, you have room to let someone stay with you, they have to go by your rules and if they can't they can't stay.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.