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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My boyfriend and I are madly in love. We were friends at ...

Customer Question

My boyfriend and I are madly in love. We were friends at work for over a year and after he left he job we started dating. Everything seemed perfect. He has been separated from his wife for while and is now finalizing the divorce. He is having a hard time handling a relationship right now. He is depressed and I worry about him constantly. What should I do? He loves me and tells me all the time, and I love him. Given better circumstances I wouldn''t question a single thing about our relationship. What should I do?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hello Starz,

Aside from him being depressed what are the issues?

In what way is he having a hard time handling the relationship?

How old are the two of you?

Chase

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: I am 25 and he is 30. He was married for just under 2 years. However he has become depressed about himself. He feels like he is to blame for everything ending and destroying her life... which is not true. He seemed fine but as he starts finalizing the divorce he has gotten really down on himself.

He is also have trouble grasping the amount he is going to loose going through a divorce.

Overall, in the last few days he has become so depressed that it seems like i need to reminded him constantly that one failed relationship does not mean he is a horrible person.

Because of these feelings there is very little attention being paid to our relationship. He has only been like this a week or so but I am still worried. He reminds me that he loves me and needs me and I we are perfect together, but I I am just having trouble couping with his emotions right now. I also know that I can't loose him.

Additionally, he is only depressed sometimes. And when he is not really down he is amazing.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hello Starz,

Thank you for that additional info.

When someone is going through something as traumatic as a divorce, these are all natural feelings for him. It's natural for him to feel like he has failed, it's natural for him to feel a sense of loss....after all, he did go into this feeling like it would be forever. The amount he's going to lose, he will adjust to in time. The best thing is to not do too much pushing, pulling, prodding or even much talking about the situation. Let him talk if he wants to talk, but try to avoid giving too much of an opinion right now, let him work his way through it.

If he's amazing most of the time, I would focus on those times and praise him for the good times and when he's doing well. Don't get too nervous about it, just give it a little time

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Chase

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