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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I have been in a gay long distant relationship ...

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I have been in a gay long distant relationship for a year and a half. it has been wonderful and full of love respect and monogamous. last week he didnt return my call and two days later i got in touch with him. He told me that he felt the passion was gone. He hit me over the head. It appeard to me that everything was going great. i found out the next day he was chatting online and was interested in someone. then i found out they actually met and had sex. He said that with this new guy the fireworks are there and broke up with me.Should i fight for him He has been wonderful for the time we were together and we have so much in common Im confused how he can say he cant go thru life wondering WHAT IF He is the one that will make him happy and letting go of the What if we were suppose to be Thank you for any advice you could give
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Scott,

I'm sorry to hear about this, I can imagine how painful this must be for you.

Were the two of you living together?

How old are the two of you?

How was your intimate life?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
we were living in different states but saw each other 3 weeks at a time most of the time and were never apart more than a month at a time. He is 46 i am 45 and our intimate life was wonderful He never complained and always said that we had enough.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
we were living in different states but saw each other 3 weeks at a time most of the time and were never apart more than a month at a time. He is 46 i am 45 and our intimate life was wonderful He never complained and always said that we had enough.   

While re reading my question it should say My partner is saying What If the other guy is the one for him and that he cant go through life wondering and in the begining for us it was the same way couldnt wait to talk now we talk all the time or we did
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello Scott,

As much as we think we know what's in another persons heart and mind, the fact is we don't. Every once in a while someone catches us with an open heart and shows us the worst of themselves. Obviously he wasn't as happy as he was making himself out to be and for all you know he's lied about this from the beginning. It's important for you to realize, right now, that this has nothing to do with you. I know you're saying, 'this has everything to do with me!', but honestly, when someone is dishonest, cheats, lies, it rarely has to do with the person they are doing it to but has to do with something within themselves. For all you know he did the same thing to the person he was with before you.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't talk to him, tell him the same thing you've told me....'what if you were really meant to be with me and now you're destroying that?', and see what he says. BotXXXXX XXXXXne, you can't make someone stay if they don't want to stay. You can't make someone love you when they obviously can't love you as much as they say they do or they wouldn't hurt you like this.

If he makes a decision to be with this other person, you're going to need to refocus your energy onto yourself and away from him. Take a class, teach a class, go on a trip, take up a hobby, or best of all do some volunteer work...there's nothing better to help yourself heal than to do for others.

I'm not sure if this is what you wanted to hear, or if i covered what you wanted to talk about....but I welcome your thoughts, and am certainly here if you want to talk more

Warmly

Chase

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Ms Chase
Ms Chase
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Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues