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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I am 42 - I have been dating and getting very serious with ...

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I am 42 - I have been dating and getting very serious with a gentleman that is 41. We met through his best friend. He has never been married and has no children. I have two daughters, 13 and 8. My oldest has met him a couple of times and is very happy for me. Their father is a big part of their life and is supporting this relationship of mine. This fabulous new man has suggested a couple of times we plan something with my children, so he can get to know them and meet the youngest. Our schedules are crazy so I have to plan in advance. I called him three nights ago and asked if he was working a certain day the following week. He indicated he was not and so I asked him to check his schedule and let me know if that evening would be good for him. He has not responded. I think if a woman you show great interest in and talk about a future with asks you for dinner with her children you should respond rather quickly! What''s up with him? I am hurt. Help!
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

How long have you been dating?

Have you spoken to him at all?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: We met the end of October but have only been seriously dating for a little over two months. I have never told my children when I have dated anyone in the past... I am very serious about this man therefore feel I would like my children to get to know him. He also asked about getting to know them and my children have expressed the same desire. He goes away mid March for a couple of weeks so I wanted to do this prior to that.

Yes, I have heard from him since our conversation...but just a text. He works four days of 12hr shifts then four days off...he is not off until Saturday. So it is not uncommon for us to go a couple of days without getting a chance to talk to each other. He is fabulous and I have fallen in love with him...everything indicates he feels the same way. I am just a little preturbed he has not responded IMMEDIATELY and said YES, I am not working of course I can meet you for dinner!

Thank you.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Well, you have to consider that he may be a little nervous about it, so that could be a factor.....or he could still be trying to figure out his schedule. It's obvious you hold your children in high esteem and are protective of them, so I can see where this might bother you, but you've also expressed how fabulous you think he is, so I would not be too hard on him. Since you do text, it wouldn't be out of the way to ask if he's decided on a date and see what he says.


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Customer: replied 9 years ago.
He really is wonderful and very considerate and thoughtful, but I also know he does worry about things so it's very possible he is a little nervous. He does go out of town this weekend with some buddies so I was hoping to get an answer prior to then. I do not want to text now because he is working the next 12hrs and I know he is busy. Do you think I should wait and if I don't hear from him say by Friday night then ask? It is most likely by then I will hear from him in person... he has given me a hard time in the past for going more than 24hrs and him not hearing from me. But I cannot help but be a little ticked because this is a HUGE step for me! My daughters have NEVER been introduced to anyone I have dated... their Dad has had a girlfriend for five years they spend a lot of time with. I didn't want to do that to them until I was serious about someone. He knows I have never introduced them to anyone before.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

I used to get so angry when people didn't do things the way I thought they should, and my mother once told me, "you can't expect people to be like you because they are NOT you". So I say, although it's very important to you and it's a huge deal because of the way you do things with your children (VERY commendable by the way, I always suggest to my clients to keep their children out of their personal lives). Give him a little more time, it's likely a mixture of nervousness and not quite realizing how important/groundbreaking this is to you. Sometimes others may not realize the full meaning or gravity of something that may be that way to us, but that's no reason to think that he wouldn't have responded differently if he had realized. Since you say he's so great, I say, give him the benefit of the doubt


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Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Thank you. I am very happy with your answers and satisfied.
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I just wanted to let you know I just received a voice msg from Mr. Fabulous! I was away from my office so didn't get a chance to answer the call and obviously he took the time from work to call me. He said the date I chose would be great to meet with the girls and I and he was looking forward to it! So he just once again proved how wonderful he is! Thanks again!
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Lol, how beautiful is that? What did you learn from this but just to have a little patience. I'm sure it will be a wonderful dinner, you sound like a great mom, who may have lucked up and found a really great guy! Please don't hesitate to ask for me by name anytime you have a question. If I can't help you, I will strive to find someone who can. Thanks so much for using Just Answer.

All the best to you and your girls


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