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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My wife and i are married just about 1 1/2 years. she is 35 ...

Customer Question

My wife and i are married just about 1 1/2 years. she is 35 and i am 62!!! we have a 15 month old daughter. My dilema/question is: Am I wrong in having a problem with my wife going out to nightclubs/bars with another woman from time to time without me? I want her to have hergirlfriends but, to me, going to bars is not the best place to be going. I wish they could go shopping or rummage sale shopping or other things that to me arent as threatening. She says I am being controlling and dont trust her.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hello chhiii

Has she ever cheated on you or given you reason to believe that she would?

Where did the two you meet?

Was she going out to bars with her girlfriends before you met?


Customer: replied 8 years ago.
she has never cheated on me or given me a reason to believe she would. We met online, and she was going to bars with ehr girlfriends before we met
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hello Chhiii,

I'm sure that there are times when your wife goes shopping and does other things, but the way that she relaxes and shares time with her girlfriends is to go out, have a drink and socialize. I'm of the opinion that if a person is a cheater, then they will cheat. If they are not a cheater, then they won't. If she is a cheater, then it won't matter if she's at the supermarket, the library, the children's school, Walmart, she will find someone to cheat with. So it all boils down to trust. With any relationship, we don't automatically trust someone, we make a decision to trust them, many times based on past experiences with them. If she's not going out every night, every weekend, and not taking care of her family responsibilities then you might want to consider that you could be overreacting. On the other hand, if you are noticing a change in behavior and she is not being responsible to her family, then it might be time to sit down and talk about being more responsible, but not to accuse her of cheating right off the bat. The botXXXXX XXXXXne is you have to trust or not, there's not much else we can do.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more?


Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: thank you, I am happy with your response and, although I dont like taht she feels the need to go to bars without me, i cahlk it up to my generation and my upbringing and my previous marriage
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.


You're very welcome, it was my pleasure to be able to help. Yes, previous relationships can affect how we feel about things that our new mates do. Old memories die hard sometimes and it's hard to trust if you've been hurt.....and yes, it could be a generational difference, something we hate to face but still can be a telling factor in your differences.

Please feel free to ask for me by name anytime you would like to talk. It doesn't just have to be about relationships and if I can't help, I will help you find someone who can. If this has helped, please remember to click the green accept button so I can get credit for my work with you.

Good luck with everything


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