How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Theresa Your Own Question

Theresa, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 877
Experience:  PhD. Clinical Psychology
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Theresa is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My boyfriend now ex him 28 me 26 he in another country than ...

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend now ex him 28 me 26 he in another country than me I took very serious as far as having a future we were very close 4 years together we did letters, calls, IM, lots of flying etc.. as much as we can.. we took it serious and had plans of a visa and a future. One day I lost my position at work and so he decided to help me with bills for the next few was also a student so work was hard to do with hours. In the process of this he went into debt.. from so much funds with bills and his. I offered that once i got a job I do now and out school id help pay him back, but he said he didnt want the money just to have to stop sending so he can get on his feet. One day I made a comment to him that he didnt like it he took it really serious more than i had expected.. and broke up with me stating I should of not did that ( I think he felt I take him for granted) it was immature of me I agree but very subtle. I have asked him if he loves me he says yes... he also wont take me off his Im I dont know if that is for pity reasons if he feels i may come crawling for money and he doesnt want to abandon me for that or he wants to be on for other reasons yet told me it ended .. What are my chances? What is going on? Is there a way to fix this? How do I go about this? This has been the guy Id love to marry. I unfortantly acted needy for 2 weeks but now am giving space I do feel that he is hurt.. but I am too and I feel by walking away hes not being mature and talking this out... I feel money shouldnt come between us and that he takes me for granted by walking away I mean I have waited and been dedicated just as much as him, I understand he has done and worked a lot for the money though and I never have felt I take him for granted, I am shocked that one comment built him over edge like that. Im not sure what to do here.. or if I can do anything, I have wrote him a card... it was in my needy stage.. but now im doing the space, I do hope he wakes up but he may not ever come back. He feels I have tested his patience with the comment I made. I never meant to hurt him and I am hurt that he is hurt. He basically puts it I made a mistake, and end of the story now.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Theresa replied 8 years ago.

Hi Babylover:

The fact that the two of you are living apart from one another creates a stress for both of you. He may have misinterpreted what you were trying to tell him and if he did, this is probably the reason that he became upset over the comment.

To tell you what your chances are would not be appropriate for no one could really put a percentage on this other than saying 50/50. From the information that you have provided I do believe that he has kept you on his IM list because he cares about you and for no reason but this.

I am going to suggest that you take a moment and write out on paper how you are feeling about this. I am referring to the things that you have mentioned in your post... You love him... You did not mean for him to get upset you were only trying to be helpful because you appreciate the care he has given you, etc.

When you are done call or send him this information in an IM. You say that you have given his space and this time has most likely allowed him to have the chance to think about his hasty decision to call things off. If he is in love with you he will welcome the IM because many men (women also) do not like to admit they may have acted in error. Your message will get him out of the hot seat so to speak if this is the situation.


If this information has been helpful to you then please do ACCEPT by clicking on the green button on your screen for this is how we are compensated for our work. Positive feedback is always appreciated too!

If I can be of assistance to you in the future, you may request my help by typing:

ATTN: Terri60 before typing your question on the header or subject line and submitting it!

Theresa, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 877
Experience: PhD. Clinical Psychology
Theresa and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions