How old is your boyfriend?
Why are you not comfortable with your body?
Do you live together, or?
Making love for the first time can be a really scary experience, especially when you know that it might hurt a bit. Sometimes when it's not something we are ready to do, it might hurt even more or we may feel extra uncomfortable. If you are not ready for it, it might be best to wait until you feel more comfortable.
With that being said, you have to learn to love your body. You cant think about the fact that he has done it before, because you can't change what he's done in his past, and it's not going to do you one bit of good to think about that, and try to live up to his past performances. There must be lots of things your boyfriend likes about you and your body if you have been together for four years, so I don't think that your chest bothers him. If a man loves you he's not going to be worried about all of that anyway, he'll just want you to be as comfortable as possible.
The next time you decide to try, I want you to talk to your boyfriend about foreplay. I want the two of you to create an atmosphere where you feel sexy and romantic. Light candles, take a bubble bath, put some nice perfume and something sexy on. Soft music, maybe some chocolates and strawberries....whatever your fantasy is. Maybe romantic to you would be hip hop music and strobe lights, whatever makes you feel sexy and puts you in the mood. Then I want you to give him and have him give you a massage, full body, back, hands, neck, legs. He should not try to have sex at all until you tell him that you're ready. You can kiss and touch each other, but focus on taking turns massaging each other. When you are ready and feel like you want to go further you let him know. Maybe you won't feel like it that night, maybe you'll want to try again another time, but it should be when you are ready and he should not pressure you.
When you are comfortable, ready and willing it will not hurt as much, if at all. Another thing that can help with the pain is using a water based lubricant.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more
If you can afford to get a room then that's a good idea because then you don't have to worry about anyone walking in on you and you can relax in your privacy. When I say foreplay, I want you to start out with just massaging each other, hand massage, foot massage, soulder massage....full body massages, soft music, a nice smelling massage oil.
What exactly embarasses you about the foreplay thing?
If you are using condoms, you want to use a water based lubricant as anything else can lessen the effectiveness of the condom and/or even cause it to break. Water based lubricants can be found at any drugstore, and even places like walmart should carry them. If you're concerned about privacy, you can even order them online. Some name brands include Astroglide and Maximus. Here's an article on lubricants.
I understand. So is this something you want to do or would you prefer to wait?
Sex and love are as old as time itself. Truthfully, if you are really in love, or really comfortable with someone, you wouldn't find it hard to be able to touch or kiss them, it's something that should come naturally.
If you have been with him for 4 yrs, then you know there must be something about you that he cares about and wants to be with, so your fears that he may not like your body or you are somewhat irrational. I can't tell you whether he loves you or not, but I would venture to say that perhaps you are feeling this way because you are just not ready to be involved with someone sexually.
If you disagree with me, that's fine. Your best bet is to ask him to show you how he likes to be kissed and likes to be touched. As long as you are comfortable with it, you can do it his way, you can try different ways and you can learn, in time, what you like as well. Sometimes you just have to say the heck with it and jump in with both feet. I still think that you should start out with full body massages, just to get comfortable. Kissing for a long time before starting anything having to do with sex helps as well.
I think you are over thinking the whole thing. Just be yourself....it's really that simple. If he does something that you like, try it on him. In fact, many times we do things to our lover that we would like done to us. He's your boyfriend, you should be able to do what you feel, and let him know that if you do something he doesn't like to let you know.
I hope this helps, let me know i you want to talk more. If this has helped, please remember to click the green accept button so I get credit for my work with you.
You're very welcome. Please feel free to ask for me by name anytime you have a question or want to talk again. Good luck with everything