Just thinking about this allows me to feel the difficulty you are experiencing with this decision.
Part of your decision will include giving consideration to how you will feel personally after the funeral is over. The question is ... If you do not attend, will you have regrets later.
I do understand what you mean when you state that you believe that the rest of the family may feel uncomfortable if you attend. This is because your friend has most likely told them things that are not true and they are aware of the shift in your friendship.
With regard to your other friends, their thoughts concerning you and whether or not you should go... Totally insignificant... You are totally correct when you comment that they should respect your decision whether they agree with it or not...
If you believe that not going is showing respect to the family then you need to follow your gut reaction; however, I think that you are struggling because you are unsure and others may have given you flack about this...
Have you considered sending a sympathy card or flowers? I believe that these are emblems that allow the family to realize they are in your thoughts and heart when we are unable to attend functions such as these.
I do hope that this helps you reach your decision... If your friends don't like it... Send them to the good old shrink here!
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