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Theresa
Theresa, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 877
Experience:  PhD. Clinical Psychology
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If i had a friend that ended up despising me and ...

Resolved Question:

If i had a friend that ended up despising me and hasn''t even excepted a hi in 6 months. We basically are out of each others lives. Do I show up at the funeral home of her mom that just passed away. I feel the family will feel uncomfortable if I show up at this personal time for them. JUst to make you understand. I didn''t do anything wrong to the family. The friends as issues and dillusions and thinks things that aren''t true. I just don''t want to be looked down on by my other friends. I feel that they should respect me as I am respecting the family by not attending.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Theresa replied 8 years ago.

Hello:

Just thinking about this allows me to feel the difficulty you are experiencing with this decision.

Part of your decision will include giving consideration to how you will feel personally after the funeral is over. The question is ... If you do not attend, will you have regrets later.

I do understand what you mean when you state that you believe that the rest of the family may feel uncomfortable if you attend. This is because your friend has most likely told them things that are not true and they are aware of the shift in your friendship.

With regard to your other friends, their thoughts concerning you and whether or not you should go... Totally insignificant... You are totally correct when you comment that they should respect your decision whether they agree with it or not...

If you believe that not going is showing respect to the family then you need to follow your gut reaction; however, I think that you are struggling because you are unsure and others may have given you flack about this...

Have you considered sending a sympathy card or flowers? I believe that these are emblems that allow the family to realize they are in your thoughts and heart when we are unable to attend functions such as these.

I do hope that this helps you reach your decision... If your friends don't like it... Send them to the good old shrink here!

Take Care,

Terri

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