Does he live with her?
How old are the two of you?
Who does the daughter live with?
The thing is, you've only been seeing him for a month. That's an awfully short amount of time to jump head first into a relationship. He's still got the mother of his kids around, he lives with his teenage daughter, who is probably emotionally scarred from everything that is going on with her parents, and I think he's probably right, that you should give it a little more time before announcing that he is involved with someone else.
If he really wants to be with you, it doesn't really matter who knows. Give him a little more time to get things together in his life, continue to be a friend to his daughter if you wish, maybe you can be the person she can lean on to get through all of this, and be a little more patient. I would give him at least another month to pull things together (if not longer), be there for him, show him support and that you are in his corner. If you give it a little more time, you'll also see if you even want to be with him after another month or two in case he doesn't get things together it gives you the time and foresight to walk away if you need to.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.
I welcome any further info you can give me. The more info you give me the better I can help.
It's hard to say which advice is better. If he just breaks up with her and doesn't tell her he is seeing someone, it's possible that she could find out eventually that he lied. Although it might be good to tell her while she is in rehab, the fact is, this is a decision he has to make on his own. From what you're telling me about his issues with the phone, e sounds like a man who is very set in his ways. If you force him to tell her or to handle it in a way he's not comfortable with, then he may wind up resenting you for it later on down the line.
I know you love him and you feel like you are destined to be together, but if you think he feels the same way then you have to give him time to get things together. I think that he will appreciate your patience in this matter. You're right about him calling if he wasn't going to show up, and you should let him know that. Talk to him about being more patient and allowing him to make the decision and see how he reacts. Like I said before, give it a few weeks to a month and see if anything changes...see how you feel about each other and what the status of the relationship is at that time in order to make a better decision.
I'm here if you wasn't to talk