How old are the two of you?
Can you tell me about the other problems
What do you do when he hits you? what does he do?
Do you think it's your fault that he can't control his anger or blows up?
Why do you feel bad that you left him?
I'll make this easy for you. You made the right decision. Period.
The way you are feeling is correct. You have absolutely made the best decisions about leaving him. You are entitled to feel safe, happy and loved. There is no way that he should be putting his hands on you, for any reason at any time. PERIOD. If you stay with him, it's only a matter of time before he hurts you badly or even kills you. Don't you deserve to feel loved? Don't you deserve to feel respected?
Sometimes when we are involved with someone, they get to know us so well, that they learn how to push our buttons and affect our emotions whether for good or bad. He knows how to push your buttons, make you feel guilty and make you feel sorry for him, but it's all an act. If you do any research into men that hit women, you will see that this is a cycle that they go through. They hit and apologize and then for a while, they are the sweetest thing in the world, until the next time they hit you.
He doesn't give you attention, he doesn't communicate with you, the sex is terrible and lacks passion, he doesn't want to better himself, nor does he want you to do better, he believes what anyone tells you and to top it off he is abusive. There's nothing he can tell you that can make up for 5 years of this, and in my opinion you did the best thing, the SAFE thing for yourself and you have to get to a point of recognizing that you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to have a good life. It's nice that your friend treats you good, but it's really not about having someone new, but about recognizing your worth and your importance and above all loving yourself above everyone else. You don't sound lost to me, you sound like you made a great decision.
Thank you for you anwer. i need to reinsure myself that i made the right descision.. he calls evert day tryin to make up and saying he chang. my friend i have makes me feel like a woman. he talks to me, makes me laugh.. i dont have any support and he have been a great person standing by my side.. very respectful of me and his self..
Is going to hurt to tell him its it but thats just what i got to do. i miss the good times with him but the bad time overide all of that..
Be strong for yourself. He had a chance to do right and he chose not to. I know you have heard this before, once a man hits you, he will always hit you. He will apologize and beg and plead....that is all part of his illness. What he has is an illness, and you cannot fix him, he has to do that for himself.
If you have someone who loves you as you say they do, why are you even second guessing yourself? Why would you even look back at all that pain and suffering and consider giving him another chance to hurt you. Close that door on your past and move forward. Never let another man put his hands on you or treat you that way, because you are a human being with a heart and you deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated.
I'm always here if you want to talk.
It's my pleasure to be able to help if I can. I hope you can make a decision that will make you happy. I'm here anytime you need to talk, if you want to speak to me specifically you can put my name in the subject line.