How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ms Chase Your Own Question

Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
1042561
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Ms Chase is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am a 45 yr old professional man, married to the same ...

Resolved Question:

I am a 45 yr old professional man, married to the same lady for 22 years. We are very happy and still have more of a spark today as it relates to sex as we did when we first started dating.
Early in our relationship we both really got into and developed a lingerie fetish. I would shower her with "non-slutty" lingerie; night gowns, bras, panties, slips, hosiery; we don''t like thongs or anything cotton. Well, Kim noticed how turned on I became so she bought me a few pair of panties and had me start wearing panties that matched hers while we were together and when we were apart, living in different cities; We became sensually connected. This progressed to her buying matching night gowns, nighties, camisoles, slips and hosiery, thigh-his and pantyhose. I became a cross-dresser and we both loved it. Knowing how much it meant to me to wear these things, she now refuses to let me wear lingerie. This has left a void in my life that I want back. Any ideas? I want to share this with her.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello Jimmy,

What caused her to make this decision if you both loved it?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: The kids I would assume. We have never had a disagreement or fight one over me wearing intimate appearl ever. We don't fight and we get along great. When we are intimate, she sometimes talks about dressing me up in pretty bra and panties and making me her "girlfriend, but never goes through with letting me "dress-up" like we use to. You would be amazed at all the matching robes, gowns and panties we had and wore on a daily basis. I didn't wear any mens PJ's or underwear for over 10 years prior to the birth of our first child. I wear panties and she knows but has mentioned that I should buy some mens briefs but I ignore this. This past holiday season I was asked by a sales assistant in the lingerie dept at Dillards, whom I have seen many times before, who I was buying the panties and slip for, and I said me. This didn't surprise her and she said that she knew I was buying for myself due to the sizes. She had seen me buy things with my wife before and knew her to be smaller. So, she asked if my wife knew and I told her what I have told you and she was sad for me that I had to do this alone and not with my wife. She is the first to know and I am glad I said something. I love my wife and would never cheat on her, period.
Hope this helps.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello Jimmy,

Thank you for that additional info. When did she say stop? How old are the children? You say that you "assume" does this mean that you've never asked why? Was there ever a discussion or how did she let you know she wanted you to stop?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: She said that I shouldn't wear ladies nightgowns/nighties anymore right after we brought our first child home from the hospital 10 yrs ago. We now have 2 kids, boy 10 and girl 7. I understand the importance of not letting the kids see me wearing intimate appearl, but they wouldn't see me considering when I will be wearing it. I do not wish to wear night gowns everynight, but occassionally would be nice and I would change before anyone woke up.
Thanks
Jimmy
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Jimmy,

It's imperative that you let her know that this was never a game for you, but something that was a part of your life. That even after all of this time, it's still something that is very much a part of you. A part that you don't want to let go. I can, in a sense, see where she is coming from. Children are so unpredictable that you never know when they are going to pop up, and they always tend to do so at the most inopportune moment.

The only time she might feel completely safe about it would be if the children were not in the house at all. It might be time to consider a babysitter, either outside the home, or you have one in the home while your wife and you go to a hotel. Going to a hotel could add a new element of excitement and sensuality to your relationship. You could meet separately, or even at a bar, pretending as if you just met. If you can get an outside babysitter, you could play and dress knowing that the children wouldn't walk in and it could make her a lot more comfortable and accepting of it. This is something you can plan on doing once or twice a month. Even if it's once a month, you can do different things each time and the excitement might be enough to hold you over until the next 'date'. I welcome your thoughts, let me know what you think.

Chase

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Counselor
2897 Satisfied Customers
Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues