How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Walter Your Own Question

Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Walter is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

ABOUT SEX

Customer Question

MY HUSBAND IS 60 AND IM 53, I WANT SEX NOW AND HE'S SAYING HE'S TOO OLD, WE HAVE NOT HAD SEX IN 2 YEARS AND I WILL NOT CHEAT ON HIM , BUT IM GETTING FRUSTATED WITH HIM NOT WANTING TO KISS ME OR HOLD ME OR CUDDLE ME ANY MORE, WE BOTH HAVE DIABETIS, BUT IM STILL INTERESTED, WHAT EVER HAPPEN TO OUR GREAT SEX LIFE WE USE TO HAVE ...PLEASE HELP DESPERATE
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello Dk

Is he having erectile difficulty that you know of?

SHould kissing and cuddling always lead to sex?

Can you have open conversations with him about sex?

Are the both of you retired (stay at home)or do you work?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
first of all i think no he gets off too quick
2nd i dont always want sex, 3rd i really dont know ive never tried,. 4th he works from 6:am - 9:am
then 8pm-11:17 pm
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
please ask a doctor i still didnt get my answer
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
please email me with answer an then i will accept have to go to bed now good nite
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

Chase has asked me to come and see if I can help you and your husband with this issue. From what you are describing it sounds more like a emotional issue then a health issue. If he is able to sustain a erection but is experiencing premature ejaculation this has to do with his age and ability's not his diabetes. While diabetes can cause erectile dysfunction he would not be able to sustain a erection at all.

Since this is not the issue, it sounds like you and your husband have gotten into the rut of life. There are a couple of things I would recommend in this situation. One is speaking with him, sit down and let him know how you feel. Let him know it is not all about sex but that you really need and want to have this intimacy back. Remember communication is the key to any locked door. Your husband may be feeling a little inadequate since he is having difficulties with premature ejaculation so you will want to broach this subject carefully. I would not even mention the premature issue right now. I would mention that you want to change things up a little. Ask him if he will give a little......explain that you understand how he feels and would love it is he would try to understand how you feel.

Try different things, this can include letting him know earlier in the day that you want some intimate time. Make plans by having a nice dinner and a early night in. Let him know you want to start only with cuddling and kissing. Do not be afraid to tell him what you want...........rember sometimes us men can be a little oblivious to what you really want.

You may want to consider speaking with him about talking to the doctor, there are medications he can use even with diabetes such as Cealis....this is not like Viagra in the difference of it helps him to get in the mood with stimulation. Often this medication can help to get him in the mood easier and more often. One dose often can improve his sexual mood for up to three days.

It is good that you have not cheated.......keep in mind that it is not fair to your husband nor yourself. If you feel that you need to do this, then you need to be honest with your husband. I know it seems easier to just go and cheat since he is not providing like he should but the fact is you are not being fair to him or yourself. If you must cheat consider being honest first.........give him a chance to make this right. Let him know what you want and what you plan on doing if you are going to do it regardless. While this will hurt him badly it will give him the opportunity to take this matter more serious.

Though I would remind you that you must accept the responsibility's and consequences of this action.......he could very well leave you. But better to leave and be done then never give him the chance to fix this. Something you should also keep in mind....while sex is not a foundation for a marriage it is important. Are you willing to lose your marriage over this? If so then it is time to make some serious choices. I can not tell you what to do but I can tell you that you must be fair to your husband and yourself in this matter.

I wish you both the best, XXXXX XXXXX is your first route in this matter.

Walter

Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
Walter and 4 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
THAT WAS GREAT INFO I THINK I WILL BE SERIOUSLY TALKING TO HIM THANK YOU SO MUCH I JUST PAID YOU I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IN TOUCH DONNA
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

Thank you for your kindness........feel free to let me know if you need anything. You can request me by name by adding askwalt to your subject question. I wish you and your husband the best.

Walter

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency