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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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How do I forgive someone

Resolved Question:

My husband broke my heart almost a year ago. He has apologized, but I can not get over the hurt.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:

-How long have you been married?

-How did he break you heart?

-Does he show remorse for hurting you?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
We have been married for 13 years. At 12 years he was emotionally unfaithful to me and almost left me for someone who was a size 3, 12 years his junior. Yes he is remorseful, do I think that he could have been more remorseful, yes. I have read a lot on the subject. The therapist that we were going to said that it was not a mid life crisis. I will take it to my grave that it was (He's 42 and we had just bought a house, he was unhappy in his job, and someone kept telling him that he was the best thing since sliced bread). I have read to pinch myself when I think about that past and then to eat something sweet, but that sounds a little silly to me. I do not want to bring up the past because it hurts both of us. The saying is that time heals all wounds, but what if the wound is so deep?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

 

Customer

Yes the saying is time heals all wounds but I don't think it stops you from thinking about it from time to time that is something you are going to have to get from your husband he is going to have to prove to you that he is very remorseful and sorry for what he did to you and your marriage and also earn your trust back and you can only do that if you work together to make your marriage stronger. It's only been a year since he emotionally cheated give it some time and stay in Therapy and if you don't think this therapist is helping talk to your husband about finding another counselor to go to, don't stay with a therapist that you don't think is helping the situation but if you feel this therapist is a good therapist maybe you should give it more time. Feeling betrayed in a relationship is the worse feeling in the world but it isn't the end of the world.

Only your therapist and you and your husband can help get your marriage back on track. You are entitled to your hurt but don't let it consume you or your marriage or else your marriage won't have much of a chance, the things you have read like pinching yourself and eating chocolate doesn't sound like healthy things to do you should never eat when you are stressed but I'm not an expert so I'm not sure what they were talking about and I've never heard of such a thing. Just give the counseling some time and talk to your counselor and your husband about you not feeling that he was remorseful enough for the severity of the emotional cheating and maybe they can help you to work through that and help you to better communicate to your husband your feelings. If you need more help just click reply it is free.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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