After reading your post, it appears that you are not only busy at work, but also busy busy with wonder. Situations as you have presented can and frequently do have a way of occupying our thoughts!
I hear you saying that you would like to have a relationship with this man and you have known him for about a year and an attraction is present for both of you. I also hear you saying that the things that he tells you and the behaviors he engages in are confusing to you.
I would like to offer you this: From the information that you have provided in your post, I view him as being the one that is confused or unsure and for some reason, I believe that you do know what is going on!
He broke up with his girl about the same time the two of you started working together and he knows very clearly that you are interested in him. He has told you that he doesn't want a relationship with you because you work together and he isn't interested in a relationship.
Then on another day he tells you that he is jealous and he's glad it didn't work out with you and a potential guy, and he cares about you. He will occasionally throw in that it would be different if you didn't work with the same men.
Has he ever shared with you why he and his girl split? More important is he the one that broke it off or was she. Though I don't know him or her, I can almost bet you that she is the one that broke it off. You my friend are seeing the results of crash.
He evidently cared about this girl...and when she broke it off, many personal issues developed for him. This is very common for a man or woman that experiences this.
It sounds to me as though he is probably interested in a relationship with you; however, he is probably afraid to commit at the present time. Right now he most likely believes that if he did enter a relationship with you, the day would come that you would also leave him. When he thinks of things such as this the pain and rejection that he felt when she broke it off resurfaces. Him telling you that you can do so much better with other guys is his personal protection. It keeps him safe because he is in control of the situation like this.
One of the interesting things for you to ponder is that he is most likely not even aware of what he is saying or where it is coming from...self preservation is an innate human characteristic...and when he hurts (from thinking of losing you too) his mind goes into what I call survival of the fittest mode and he is not giving the commands.
I have seen many relationships that had the potential to grow and proper through life; however, the main thing that prevented this was lack of patience.
It is not my job to tell you what to do...However, it is my job to facilitate your efforts in this relationship through education about human nature and how we function. When you understand this, the patience that is need to endure will follow.
I can understand that you have feeling for him and want it to take off like a rocket ; however, I am going to suggest that you pull back from him (this doesn't mean quit talking to him) and keep your conversation out of the relationship mode. Let him be the initiator. If and when he brings it up then tell him just how you feel about him and how you feel when he does this.
Be sure to let him know that you are doing what you can to give him the space he needs to process everything he has been through. Let him know that you will be there for him if he wants to talk.
Make no promises...Just let him know that you care about him enough to give him the space he needs to work through his issues and if the two of you are meant to be then you will. Do let him know that you expect the same courtesy in return being that you don't want him to talk to about being jealous, etc. until he knows what he wants because it is confusing and hurtful to you.
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