You have to talk to him and ask him if that's the case. Obviously you have been there in his time of need. It may be that since he is actually/finally getting the divorce, he is feeling like a free man. You have to confront him and ask him if he wants to stay with you, or what. Even though she lives in the small town, there's no reason for him not to call you or keep in touch with you. If he truly cares for you, he won't force you to question your relationship or wonder why he's acting the way he is. I welcome your thoughts. Let me know if you want to talk more.
Absolutely. However even if that is the case, he should (after two years) be able to tell you that. If you are going to be left o the back burner until his divorce goes through, that's understandable, but it should be your choice as well, not just his choice, thats where the unfairness comes in. I understand he's under a lot of stress, so you may want to wait to bring it up or wait for a proper time to bring it up. Show him support and love for now, but don't wait too long to bring it up. Let me know if you want to talk more.
Yes, he is probably playing it safe all the way around the board, if he's smart. Yes, I do believe based on what you've told me that she would react and cause him a lot of problems.