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Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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how do i keep him interested after a one night stand

Customer Question

i met a guy on a holiday i had seen him around the hotel and on the last night we finally ot together we walked along the beach and talked about our lives he aske if i would visit him in copenhagen as im from england we went to my room and agreed we would not do anything but it just happend. i know he liked me i could tell by his eyes and he kept holding my hand. after we slept together he hugged me non stop. now we have been back a week and he has text me once to say he misses me and when can he see me. i have text him back but he has not text for days. when he did text he just says miss you kiss he has not called once it has been a week. i know i should not have slept with him so quick. but i really believe there was something there i could tell in his eyes. how can i keep him interestedin me after he has had sex???
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 7 years ago.

Hi,

Well jumping into bed with him was not the best thing to do when you are interested in more then just a one night stand, but this isn't a certain death for the relationship either. The sad fact is some men do these things and there isn't much you can do other then live and learn.

If this is the case or not it is debatable. If he text ed you first then there is hope he may simply be busy. The key here is to not appear desperate or needy. Send him a text letting him know how you enjoyed his company and look forward to getting together again in the near future. This puts the ball in his court and lets him know that while you would like to get together again you are not sitting at home waiting.

DO NOT text him again after that, give him time. If you haven't heard from him in a week and you are still interested in getting together send him a text stating you are going to be in his town for a quick trip and ask him if he would like to get together for a coffee. Explain that you will be busy but would like to make some time to see him.

If you still do not hear from him or he doesn't sound interested then it is time to let it go. If he texts back and wants to get together do so. But when you get together make sure you appear like you are interested but do not under any circumstances act like all you could think of was him and this meeting. Talk about other things if he starts discussing your relationship play it by ear. If he appears to act as though he wants it to go somewhere then do so if you want.

Keeping him interested is easy. If he is interested he will be if not nothing is going to work. Relationships are not about games and tricks. They are about finding something in common and attraction. If you are both interested then it will work but if one is only looking for a little fun nothing you do is going to change him.

I wish you the best,

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Reply to Melissa 's Post: hi before i start my real name is XXXXX XXXXX had to make up a name because every name i used was taken by someone. just thought i would make that point.

I need more advice from you im afraid.
I really like this guy b ut im not sure if he is not interested or is trying to keep me on my toes.

i had text him when i got home and told him im home safe etc 9 hours later he replied and said when can he see me and he misses me. i replied saying i want to see him to and he did not reply. a few days later i thought i had picked up a sti from him and im yet to receive the results. and yes protection was used but it burst. i let him know by text that he should go to his docters and i was not happy with him. the next day he just text me hey i miss kiss. he didnt even refer to what i mentioned to him. its been a week since the holiday and he has text me twice and not called. i text him and told him if you dont want to have anything with me dnt answer when i call you. he didnt!!! but the next morning he said i miss you kiss. PLEASE HELP HE IS REALLY CONFUSING ME!!!!!
Expert:  Walter replied 7 years ago.

Hi Natile,

This is a bit confusing. I can understand why you are upset, but keep in mind he may not have known he was infected or he may have thought you were telling him you were infected and thus made him nervous. Sounds like a simple case of miscommunication.

I would wait to contact him until you have the results back from your testing. If in fact you do have something you need to call him and let him know. Try not to get angry as he may simply not have known which is very common. Calmly explain to him that you have this and recommend he gt tested. let him know that you do suspect it came from him as you have had no other partners.

The reason why I urge you to wait until after the test results are you do not want to make this so much worse then it is. If in fact it is a simple yeast infection or UTI then you are going to be a bit embarrassed by jumping to conclusions. If in fact it is nothing make sure you call him and let him know. Do not text him as this is more something that should be discussed between the two of you.

Let him know why you jumped to conclusions as you are not normally the type who rushes into bed with someone you have known a short amount of time. If he doesn't answer his phone (Remember you told him not to) Text him and ask him to either call you or answer the phone as you need to speak with him.

Let him know that you miss him and are interested in seeing where things are going and make sure you apologies if you have no STD. It sounds like he is still interested so keeping his interest isn't your problem. Your problem is getting past the main issue of miscommunication and getting on with the relationship.

I wish you the best,

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Walter
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Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)