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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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How am I related to my Moms cousins son Are we ...

Customer Question

How am I related to my Mom's cousin's son? Are we too close to be dating one another?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hi honey, how have you been?


give me the breakdown...


you're mom's cousin, is it her mothers, sisters childs son?

Expert:  Crista replied 8 years ago.
If he is your mother's first cousin (meaning they have the same grandparents) then he would be your 2nd Cousin.

About half of the U.S. states have laws prohibiting 1st cousins from marrying. But, very few laws relating to 2nd cousins exist. Interestingly, the U.S. is the only western country with such restrictions.

A great information website is found at:
http://www.cousincouples.com/

Hope that helped!
Crista, Professional Genealogist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 37
Experience: Member of the Association of Professional Genealogists
Crista and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

If I'm not mistaken it would be your second cousin twice removed? It gets a little crazy, but I'm adding a couple links here because there's a difference if theres a shared grandparent, great grandparent, ect.


Dating a first cousin is usually the only one frowned upon, but the second link offers more info on that as well. Good luck. How are things going with the ex hub? How are the girls?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family (scroll down to cousins)


http://www.tedpack.org/cuzdate.html


Lisa

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Lisa's Post: Hey Girl,
I haven't heard from you in forever. How are you doing? Staying busy I am sure. How is your daughter doing? Out of school for the summer yet?

Okay here is the breakdown without confusing you.

My mom is an only child her dad had 6 siblings and one of them was Goldie Harris. She had 2 boys Dick and Don. Dick's son Kent is the one that I have been keeping in contact for years and he and I have so much in common with one another. About 3 years ago before I met my second husband, Kent and I dated for a while. Then some unfortunate things happend and we lost touch for about 3 years. In the mean time I would see him every week at church and his brother, is on staff at our church and I saw him all the time. About 2 weeks ago, Kent's dad died and he called me to tell me about it and so I went to the viewing. That night when I walked in the funeral home and saw him again after 3 years my heart sunk and I just wanted to hug and hold him forever. SInce then we have talked every day several times a day and last night we went out for dinner and movie and then back to his place for a few. He mentioned us dating and that he really felt that we would have a AWESOME relationship and be together until eternity, but wasn't sure it would be accepted by our families because of us being related. I told him about this site and that I would see what it said. So how is he really related and what do you think?

Love you,
Kell
Expert:  Crista replied 8 years ago.
Sorry I jumped into the middle of this. Obviously the two of you (Kellie and Lisa) know each other well.

But, to answer Kellie's last question:
Your great-grandparents are generation 1.
Your grandfather and Goldie are generation 2.
Your mother and Dick are generation 3.
You and Kent are generation 4.

Therefore:
Goldie is your mother's aunt.
Dick is your mother's 1st cousin. (They share common grandparents.)
You and Kent are 2nd cousins. (Meaning you share the same great-grandparents.)

Not to confuse things but - The "removed" business doesn't occur until you start removing yourself in generations from each other. So, for example you and Dick are 1st cousins, once removed.

As for whether or not to have a relationship with him - I say follow your heart. The website I mentioned above gives some great resources for combating any arguments you may encounter. But, I'll leave it to your friend to give you more specific counsel regarding how to handle the possible reaction of your family
Crista, Professional Genealogist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 37
Experience: Member of the Association of Professional Genealogists
Crista and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

I think the fact that you guys dated before is a plus, because you're familiar with each other and each others feelings and that trumps dating some guy you have no clue about any day (smile) It sounds nice and I wouldnt worry about it as long as the 2nd cousin thing isn't an issue that you guys lose sleep over. My daughter is good, she gets out in a week. What about your beautiful girls?


Did your family give you grief when the two of you dated before? I would have thought you'd have mentioned it if that was the case, let me know.



Much love


Lisa

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Hey I forgot to tell you, I'm going to be in an art exhibit for the XXXXX XXXXX Festival here in GA....you can see my art at http://www.myspace.com/chaseart


let me know what u think.. :)

Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Lisa's Post: Yes because all they look at is that we are family and that is as far as it goes. But wouldn't you say that it shouldn't matter what they think or say at this point? As long as we are both happy than why should they not be happy for us too?

The girls are good. They get out of school on the 15th of June so not much longer to go. They are really excited about the summer.

They are with me this weekend and I am really looking forward to it.

Brennah my youngest is almost 10months old and I can't hardly believe it. Time has flown by so fast. Her Dad is still being an Ass, but that is how he is always. How about your other half how is he doing?

Gotta run talk to you soon!

Hugs,
Kellie
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

My other half is good....he actually disagreed with me on my answer to you. I felt that if you and Kent have been together before and feel happy....you are breaking no laws, then be happy. He disagreed and said it was still too close of a family bond. I say its really up to you.


Will your girls be with you all summer?


Lisa

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Lisa's Post: No I only get them for 2 weeks out of the summer in addition to my normal every other weekend schedule. And I usually try to take them on a trip somewhere but I am not sure I will be able to afford that this summer. We will see.

Do you have any photos of you 2 together that you could scan and send to my email?

talk to you soon girl!

Kellie
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

yes, I will scan something this weekend and email it to you.



much love lisa

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Lisa's Post: Thaks girl!!!
Looking forward to seeing it!

Love,
Kellie

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Ms Chase
Ms Chase
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Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues