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Mandy
Mandy, Relationship Expert
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Experience:  Practical Guidance in Love and Relationships. Training in Youth Suicide Prevention.
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if a man calls after a date and says he really enjoyed ...

Resolved Question:

if a man calls after a date and says he really enjoyed himself, then doesn't call for over a week, has he lost interest?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Bridgette replied 8 years ago.
Leslie,
It could mean many things. He could just be busy with work, or a personal issue, or a number of things. But seeing that he called you after to tell you he enjoyed himself tells me that he is interested. He might not want to seem to pushy, or anxious, trying to play it cool. Give it some more time. But if you go out again and he doesn't call for a period of time then there might be more to it. Maybe he is involved with someone or possibly married. Do not let it become a pattern. Bridgette


Bridgette, Wife,mother,daughter,friend
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 207
Experience: I have had some very interesting enlightening relationships
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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Bridgette's Post: Thank you Bridgette for your quick response. I neglected to add that he did call once last week, but didn't leave a message. I just happened to find it on my caller id. Had a one line email response from him a few days ago. I met him through online dating. I do know that his father is in the hospital and had surgery. What makes it hard is that I can see he goes on the internet date site, but just briefly.
It just makes me question my read on our date. I know, time will tell.
Expert:  Bridgette replied 8 years ago.
Yes time will tell, can you leave messages on the date site? If you can maybe he is checking to see if you emailed him. He might not want to seem to pushy. He might be waiting for you to make the next move. Whatever the reason is only time will tell. Good Luck. Bridgette

Bridgette, Wife,mother,daughter,friend
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 207
Experience: I have had some very interesting enlightening relationships
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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Relist: I want a different opinion.
Expert:  Ryan replied 8 years ago.

Leslie,


For the most part I agree with Bridgette. He could be busy, especially with his father in the hospital. He may be waiting for you to make a move, etc.


I am a little worried if you can see that he's on the site. Maybe he is dating other people he is meeting as well? Maybe he is unsure of his feelings for you as well.


Definitely give him a call/email. Mention going out again and you'll know for sure. If he blows it off and doesn't sound interested then you'll know for sure. If you two make plans then you will know that he was just busy. I agree with Bridgette though, don't let it become a pattern!


Regards,


Ryan

Ryan, Married, with Children
Category: Relationship
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Experience: Married, with Children! I've been through a lot, and only answer questions I know I can help with.
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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Relist: I want a different opinion.
Expert:  Mandy replied 8 years ago.

Him initiating contact after the date is a positive sign. Usually, if a man was not interested, he would not call to say that he enjoyed himself and call again at a later time. I'm sure that because he was on the dating site briefly that he was checking his messages - perhaps he is hoping to see one from you. He might need the reassurance that you are interested in him. Send him an email telling him how much you enjoyed your time together and you look forward to seeing him again and then ask him if he would like to go out sometime. With his dad being in the hospital, he might not be readily available so you might need to work around that.


"I neglected to add that he did call once last week, but didn't leave a message. I just happened to find it on my caller id. Had a one line email response from him a few days ago." He called you right after the date and told you what a great time he had and has made contact twice since then.. he is probably thinking the same way you are. If you really like this man, take some initiative and call him back. It really seems to me that this is what he is waiting for.


If you want to ask him out again, here's an example of what you could say: "You seem like a really amazing man, and I'd like to get to know you better. I'd love to go out with you again sometime. But if you're not interested, that's all right, too. I just didn't want to let this opportunity pass."


:::I hope this helps:::

Mandy, Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience: Practical Guidance in Love and Relationships. Training in Youth Suicide Prevention.
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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to Mandy's Post: thank you mandy for your response. i haven't called him because he hasn't given my his number, i just got it off of caller id. of course, i'm just replaying everything and over analyzing.
Expert:  Mandy replied 8 years ago.

Your more than welcome. :o)


Replaying how the date went and over analyzing things is normal. You really like him and are hoping for the same feelings in return - there is nothing wrong with that. I think you would both benefit if you initiated contact. I really feel that he has not lost interest in you, he is just not wanting to seem pushy and is probably waiting for a response on your part. If you don't feel comfortable calling him because he did not give you his number, email him or send him a message through the dating site you met on and reopen the lines of communication. You might even send him a "thinking of you" e-card and wish his father a safe recovery.

Mandy, Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 305
Experience: Practical Guidance in Love and Relationships. Training in Youth Suicide Prevention.
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