I may not have the answer you're looking for - however, I can tell you that true and loving relationships do not come easy. The fact that your boyfriend is willing to go to counseling is great - you are very lucky he is in your life - you may wish to consider going with him - especially if you are able to financially, you are blessed.
People/couples get so caught up on what is "wrong" that they usually don't look at what is "right" - as well, too many expect so much that they get irritated/upset when something doesn't go their way. Do not fret.
By what you have written, it appears that the two of you are very compatible and that the two of you are meant to be together. Certain situations can bring one off the path but with proper care, love and understanding from others, things can get back to normal. It appears that your boyfriend may be going through one of those "moments" since we all have them - thus, it would help to allow things to flow, take it naturally - prehaps discuss the situation with him, keeping the conversation light, but do address your personal concerns with him. Perhaps he is having physical problems. You may need to bring this to his attention - it wouldn't hurt for him to seek the care of a physician - to be certain.
Losing your own self-esteem over this situation is not a good way to go - do try to be strong and hang on! Perhaps bringing new energy into your living space will prove effective - Light candles, bring in fresh flowers or plants - let nature in. Use more colors around you - pink is a great color, for true love - red for passion/lust - yellow for communication.
We can also get into a rut - and not take much notice of our partner - thus, take time out on the weekends - go on a picnic - or to the beach, try a new recipe - dinner by candlelight, soft music playing in the background, lightly scented bath with candles around the tub.....Perhaps a new outfit - Invite him out for dinner and a show. Surprise him with a gift for his birthday...every day is one's birthday - a day older!
I am sure that all will work out for the two of you - and you need to have faith and hope that it will also.
I wish you both the very best.
Peace, Love & Happiness,
The Mystic Wave