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joe barcus
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relationship and possible mental problems

Customer Question

me and my husband have been separated for about seve months. he with someone else and he having a baby with her.i no he's not happy i can tell when he calls me on the phone, and he sends me emails saying things like my lifes in shambles and i have no where to turn to. he has a sixteen yr. old son who he has not seen or talked to in three months because he wants nothing to do with his dad, i no this because i saw him about a month ago and he told me why, he said because my dad has lied to many people and hurt tomany people. see because when he left me iwas pregant to only i ended up having a miscarriage from all the stress. his son told me that is another reason why he does not want to see him cause he new i was pregant and then his father runs off and gets this other women pregant.his son told me that when his dad told hin this girl was pregant he said to his dad you are an idot.no he's my husband is depressed becaue he is taking medcine for depression, i told him he needs to go and talk to someone, i think he mite have some mental problems. what do you think?
Submitted: 11 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  joe barcus replied 11 years ago.
sounds to me like you have it nailed. and his actions has caused alot to happen and I am sure he knows it also. time is a wonderful thing for things like this, and time is what it is going to take. yes he needs to talk to some professional people as well, the sooner he sees the problem the sooner he can help the fix get started. youre doing well by seeing the signs just try to make sure he see's them as well if you can.
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Reply to joe barcus's Post: he knows he has a problem i've asked him to go and talk to someone, but he says i can't afford, bause the mother of his sixteen year old son is taking him back to court for more child support. so he said no cause now he has to pay for a lawyer. but i have even tryed to tell him i would pay for it. what type of couselor do you think he needs to see? he would not even tell his family cause everytime i asked him if he had told them he said no and i said why and he said it's going to be hard. he has one uncle that he and i were really close to and i told him about a month ago. and then about two weeks ago he called his uncle and his uncle said to him i know she's pregant your wife told me, then about a week later my husaband took her over to he's unles house, because his uncle told me and he said when thy came over he tryed to be nice but he was very uncomfortable, he said at one point to her sometime you and me need to have a talk. his uncle told me he wants to tell her what he did to me bacuse i don't think she no anythink i think my husband has been lieing to her to. his son told me to talk to her and tell her because he said he does not what to see her be his dads next vicitiom. what shuold i do next?
Expert:  joe barcus replied 11 years ago.
in order for him to get help, he is going to have to want it. now please dont get this wrong what I am going to say I dont mean anything bad by it just a thought is all, he may be using his problem to play you as well. He knows you care about his health and mental status but may try to use that to get you to have relations, of course if you dont mind than thats fine also, and again I dont mean anything bad. Maybe his son needs to be a little more concerned and talk to his dad and ask him to please go for help. money should not be a issue for most states pays for help like that is he needs it. I myself would rather owe a hospital bill than be sick and so on. good luck
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Reply to joe barcus's Post: his son has been going to counseloring already to get help with the things that his dad was trying to put in his head. my husband says he has no money because see the mother of his son is taking him back to court for more child support so he says he is having to pay a lawyer. he is staying with this other women and i'm sure she does not no the truth to what is really going on, because his son told me that when he was going to her house before his dad was telling her alot of lies. this other women is a co-worker.see never wanted anymore kids but he said he could not tell her that because she is religious.he's always telling me he still loves me. what else can i do?
Expert:  joe barcus replied 11 years ago.
well you need not worry much about it, you have done about all you can do, you sound like a caring person and I really dont blame him for talking to you about things, Im sure you help more than you're ever know. good luck

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