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Hayley, Psychic
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1
Experience:  5+ years
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love or not love

Customer Question

me and my husband have been apart for seven months. he with someone else and he's having a baby with that person. i no he's not happy because he did'nt what anymore kids. i talk to him on the phone and i can tell he's hot happy. i also no he's taking medcine for depression.also he sends me emails saying things like my life is in shambles, and i have no where to turn to. i what to try and help him, but i don't no what to do.
Submitted: 11 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Hayley replied 11 years ago.

First, I applaud you for having the desire to help your husband
through a difficult time in his life. From the sound of it, you are
divorced? It takes a strong person to put aside any differences
and see that there is a life that needs help. I will also assume
that since your husband is taking medication for depression that
he is already seeing a medical professional to help him with his
problems. If he got this medication elsewhere, then you first
need to urge him to seek the help of a qualified therapist. Other
than that, you can play an important role in his life by being
there to listen to him. Many people become depressed because
they feel trapped and that their lives are hopeless. Help him to
realize that he does deserve to be happy and that the decisions
he has made should not hold him back from this. Help him to
realize that he can seek out the things in his life that bring him
joy although he is in an uncomfortable situation. He will not be
able to love a new child if he does not love himself. He can get
through this while seeking out what is important to him and
doing the right thing at the same time. I am not suggesting he
abandon his new child. Rather, he needs to be honest with his
new partner about his fears and reasons for not wanting a new
baby. If his partner is understanding and caring, they too will be
able to come to an agreement about what is best for both of
them. He cannot continue to live like this, or it will make
everybody involved miserable. These are difficult things to talk
about, but it must be done. You need to play the role of friend
for him. Assure him that whatever decisions he makes, you
stand behind him and support him. He needs to know that you
will not judge him and accept him and his feelings for what they
are. Be his rock now and help him realize that,someday, he will
be able to be his own. Remind him to seek out contentment as
life is not long enough to spend it in moments up distress. I
hope this helps.

Hayley, Psychic
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1
Experience: 5+ years
Hayley and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
Reply to Hayley's Post: me and my husband are not divorced we having only been livving apart. it all started last july when he got me pregant. he told me if i did'nt have an abortion, he would leave. because he did'nt what any kids. when i refused he left. then last december i lost the baby.from the stress of him leaving. then when he left he was screwing around with a co-worker. with whom he got pregant. she's now six months pregant. after i found out she was pregant i asked him if he told her he did'nt want kids and he said no i can't tell her that,i said he said beause she's he keeps send emails saying his life is in shamnle with no where to turn to. also he has a sixteen year old son that now wants nothing to do with his dad, because of everything that has happened, i no now he has noone to talk to and he's taking prozac for depression.i have tried to tell him to go and see a couselor or something. i no he's not happy. he tells me all the time he still cares about me. he also has alot of anger inside. do you think he needs to go and talk to someone. how can i help him.
Customer: replied 11 years ago.
what can ido to try and help my husband because i think he has to many problems to deal with.

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